If you want a movie that has it all -- action, suspense, romance, martial-arts action, special effects -- "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor" might be your movie.

If you want a movie that actually does any of these things well, you might consider seeing something else.

Brendan Fraser's third go-round as adventurer Rick O'Connell is easily the worst, which is kind of like saying Danny was the worst New Kid on the Block.

The first "Mummy" was serviceable family entertainment, had some decent action and thrills, and was somewhat different from the standard action/adventure fare at the time.

This time around, it's a cookie-cutter, hack-and-slash job, taking the formula (a mummy rising from the dead to reclaim his throne and dominate the world) and adding and subtracting.

Gone is Arnold Vosloo's Imhotep, replaced by Jet Li as a Chinese overlord (by the way, the back stories are almost identical). And before you get too excited, Li is a silly-looking animated statue for most of the film, and his martial-arts skills are wasted until the film's finale.

Gone is Rachel Weisz's luminous Evie O'Connell, replaced by a brunette Maria Bello ("Coyote Ugly") doing a bad Weisz impression.

And gone is the cute, annoying kid from the second movie, replaced by a ruddy-faced, annoying young adult (this film takes place several years after the second film).

Also absent are the thrills and the fast-paced action, replaced by poorly shot, poorly edited and poorly conceived action sequences.

It's the kind of movie that features a yak on an airplane, just so one of the characters can say, "The yak yacked!"(yes, this really happens).

Fraser's charisma shows at times, but it's hardly enough to save this stinker.

All in all, this one is like eating a bowl of Fruity Pebbles two hours after pouring the milk: a sopping, unappetizing mess.

Movie Details

Rating: one and a half stars (out of five)

In a word: Wretched.

Rated: PG-13

Running time: 114 minutes.

Starring: Brenden Fraser, Jet Li, Maria Bello

Director: Rob Cohen