From the pages of my favorite magazine, Modern Drunkard. I present the Ten Best Things About Booze. It's on their front page:

http://www.moderndrunkardmagazin...

I don't want to copy it all here, as it's quite long, but here's my favorite:

9.It allows you to believe you are a better person than you ever imagined you were.

"When I have one martini, I feel bigger, wiser, taller. When I have the second, I feel superlative. When I have more, there's no holding me."

--William Faulkner

Ever notice how drunks rarely seem to mind being the center of attention? Not only don't they mind, they practically demand it, even if it means breaking your things and yelling at the top of their lungs.

Why would this be so? Because when you're drunk you're certain you deserve the spotlight. You might be the shyest, most reticent mouse while sober, but load you up with enough liquor and you're John Barrymore shouting Shakespeare, however unintelligibly.

Booze burnishes to a high gleam every quality you're lucky enough to possess, and some you weren't even aware you had claim to. It certainly makes you more generous--there isn't a barista on earth that makes as much as a bartender. It elevates your sense of humor, surely--no one laughs at a bad joke like a drunk. It reveals you to be an expert dancer, deft conversationalist, brilliant philosopher, gifted singer and the most sensual of lovers. And good looking? You're so damned handsome you'd have to beat the girls off with a stick if they weren't so intimidated by your sheer, well, handsomeness. And tough--you're so hard you could deck half the guys in the room with a single punch if they'd just stay still for a goddamn minute.

Alcohol lets you love yourself. And I say that's a fine thing. Everyone should feel that way every now and then. Why must you go through life acting like an accountant or salesman or carpenter, just because that's what you do for a living?

Why should only kings get to feel like kings?