http://www.indy.com/posts/4277 en-us Matt.Gonzales As someone who has put in his time as a server (started out bussing dirty plates and refilling drinks for five percent tips at a buffet/steakhouse, moved up to chain restaurants ((Damon's, the Olive Garden)) and then, finally, to fine dining ((a place in Fort Wayne that, at the time, was called Baguetelle Bistro))), I feel your pain. The funny thing is, as a former server, what most drives ME crazy are bad servers (and let me say, Nora most definitely does NOT fall into this category). I am continually amazed at the number of servers I encounter who expect to get 15-20 percent simply for taking my order and perfunctorily delivering the food and drinks. There is an art to serving. You are an advocate for the diners in your restaurant -- and that counts for even those not in your section. And nothing drives me crazier than a busy server who refuses to make eye contact because he/she knows you need something and he/she's too busy to get it. Here's an idea: Instead of pretending I'm invisible, simply stop for a second as you're walking by and politely explain that you'll help me when you get a second. I had this experience most recently at Maggiano's (a bad experience pretty much all-around, there), but it's a problem of epidemic proportions in the world of food service. Thu, 31 Jan 2008 10:24:44 -0500 http://www.indy.com/posts/4277#comment_12504 http://www.indy.com/posts/4277#comment_12504 nora You would love the book: Waiting: The True Confessions of a Waitress by Debra Ginsberg I waitress one night a week, and hate how much I have to defend it. It is a hard, honest job. I am the waitress, cook, cashier, hostess and clean-up crew. Waiting is one of those jobs that every thinks they can do, but never have. I wouldn't dream of sitting on the corner of my accountant's desk and telling him how to do his job, but plenty of people are happy to share their opinion of how things should be done at my tables. When people treat me like an idiot, I'm always tempted to act as dumb as they think I am. But that would accomplish nothing. I also will stop ranting...but it's hard to. Good luck! Thu, 31 Jan 2008 10:03:32 -0500 http://www.indy.com/posts/4277#comment_12500 http://www.indy.com/posts/4277#comment_12500 baggles I have never lived/served anywhere else, but I have spent almost 5 years serving in Indianapolis. I agree that many of the people who I have served treat me like I am stupid... which drives me nuts! I worked throughout my education and I now have a Master's degree, I'm not stupid!! Most of my coworkers are also college grads/students (and even if they're not, they're not stupid!!). We call serving the "best worst job" because the money is great, the flexibility is great and having cash in your pocket is great. Downsides are that people treat you like poo, you have to work holidays, and there is no real way of knowing how much you're going to make any given day. I now have a full time job, but I still pick up on occasion to make a few extra $$. I HATE when anyone (it seems businessmen in particular) treats me like I don't understand what's going on or feels the need to tell me things I obviously know. Or when people make you run around doing everything for them and then tip you horribly! (I could go on for pages, as I'm sure any server could) I think half of the people just don't know better and half of the people are just a-holes who make themselves feel better by bringing others down. All I'm asking for is a little respect... ok, and a little money too Thu, 31 Jan 2008 08:36:50 -0500 http://www.indy.com/posts/4277#comment_12494 http://www.indy.com/posts/4277#comment_12494 kathrynbelt Hey, I can see your point but I always try to be nice to my servers when I dine out. I know you guys work hard and most really like what they are doing, some people (like with on any job) just look at it like a job and it shows. I think being a server also takes skills - I mean I could never do it - I hate people :) I have seen what you are talking about though in Indy - when I see it it just makes me so mad. I know a guy at work that will say something or make a scene just to get free food or a discount. I was with him once when he did it and it was so embarrassing to me, i thought about just getting up and leaving. Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:09:23 -0500 http://www.indy.com/posts/4277#comment_12443 http://www.indy.com/posts/4277#comment_12443