Sex and power go together. The give. The take. The thrill of authority. The ecstasy of resignation. And no one knows this better than a dominatrix.

Mistress Alex, a 28-year-old with blond and pink hair, a girlish laugh and a shy smile, grew up in Indianapolis. She went to IUPUI, toured with a band, got married, got divorced, and until recently worked as an event coordinator with a nonprofit.

Now she coordinates a different sort of event.

Mistress Alex works from home, ordering wealthy professional men dressed in diapers to crawl around her basement… if that’s what they’re into. She has been a professional domme for three years, and full time for six months, after posting on Craigslist and taking out ads in alternative weeklies.

She received more than 50 responses the day after her first ad, and now she fields at least three calls daily. She charges $250 for a 45-minute session, can make up to $2,000 in a week and knows how to dish out an order.

“Sissification” is a regular menu item.

“A lot of guys want you to train them to clean your house,” she said. “So I’ve had guys do my dishes and dust my house. And they’re paying me! They’ll wear French maids outfits, and bring their own heels. It’s awesome.”

Foot fetishes are common, too.

“There was one guy who wanted me to stand on him, and I’m about 170, and in heels I’m over 6 foot,” she said. “I felt like I was going to break his chest open, but he loved it. Then he wanted my whole foot in his mouth.”

Alex refuses sex requests and “girlfriend experiences.” And she has other limits, too.

“There are guys who want to be peed on and pooped on, but I don’t do that,” she said. “They’ll call, and it’ll turn into this hilarious phone conversation, with them asking ‘So how regular are you?’ and ‘Do you have a shower facility?’ But I don’t even use the public restroom that often!”

Some simply like to be spanked, or whipped, or bossed around in full-body leather outfits. Alex doesn’t get the same pleasure her clients derive from the exchange of pain and humiliation. But she does understand the power dynamic. Her clients are often established community members.

“I think power is responsibility — it’s a lot on your shoulders, a lot on your mind,” she said. “With me, even if just for one hour, they get to throw that out the window and suck on a bottle or wear high heels or get spanked and told they’re bad. It’s like a spa for them.”

And for others, it’s less of a luxury and more of a necessity, like the big burly rural single father with the giant mustache, who wanted nothing more than to wear a dress for the first time.

“It was heartwarming almost,” she said. “He’s not allowed to be himself, and I felt like his chance had come. I’m just a dominatrix with a heart of gold.”

Mistress Alex can be reached via her Web page, www.mistressalex.net

City vs. dominatrix: A 5-year saga

Dominatrixes are usually reticent, but not always — and especially not in the case of Indianapolis domme Melyssa Donaghy, known as Mistress Ann. Here is a brief history:

2003: A public outcry erupted after it was reported that Donaghy was operating “The Reformatory” out of her Meridian-Kessler home, just a few doors down from a public library, a grade school and a Catholic church. (Footage of her leading a leash-wearing, leather-clad client down the Monon Trail didn’t help.)

2005: The city filed a complaint, alleging a “house-based sexual torture business” was being illegally operated, after an undercover officer witnessed “spurs, whips, chains and clamping devices.” The suit sought to end the business and to fine Donaghy. Then-Mayor Bart Peterson made clear his intent to fight Donaghy.

2006: Donaghy, who would soon become an activist against higher property taxes, responded by claiming, “My practice includes teaching domestic cooking and cleaning, while encouraging and practicing sexual responsibility and chastity.” She later added, “Until the mayor needed a photo op, there really was no issue.”

2007: An agreement between the city and Donaghy was reached, ending the two-year battle. An attorney for the city said the police investigation “made it very clear that it was an illegal sex business operating in a residential neighborhood,” but essentially the issue was related to zoning. Donaghy agreed not to run her business in the area.

2008: Donaghy announced she would seek Libertarian Party’s blessing to run for the 7th District House seat that became open after Julia Carson died. But nothing came of the attempt.

Correction

We’re willing to admit when we make a mistake.

In the above Sex & Relationships item, we mentioned Indianapolis dominatrix Melyssa Donaghy, referring to her referencing her as “Mistress Ann,” and making a note of the bru-ha-ha that erupted after photos were shot of her walking a latex-clad client down the Monon Trail some years ago.

Donaghy, however, got in touch with us to set the record straight.

First, she insisted she has never been known as a “Mistress,” preferring the moniker, “Miss Ann.”

“I always insisted on being addressed as “Miss,” because a “Mistress” implies adultery, and I am not an adulteress,” Donaghy wrote. “In fact, submissives were subject to punishment if they ever addressed or referred to me as Mistress more than once. That is because I find it insulting to me, my honor, and my work.”

Donaghy also pointed out that the figure wearing latex was not a “client,” as is often reported by the media. It was actually a model, and the image was taken by an out-of-state professional photographer and artist.

“The point of the shoot was to show extraordinary individuals of all ilks sharing the same public space on a gorgeous April spring day in tolerance and harmony.”