Friday the 13th Week: A New Beginning: Ranking the Fridays

joe.shearer

February 13, 2009 by joe.shearer

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Here you are, in reverse order, the Fridays worst to first. Feel free to discuss and disagree.

12. Jason X: Mostly a pointless, toothless exercise that seems borne of a unique idea that isn’t even an original one: “Hellraiser: Bloodline” gave Pinhead the space treatment 5 years prior. Good only for a couple of fun lines, and two great kills: the “freezing liquid” face smash, and the virtual reality girls who taunt Jason with their promiscuity, drug/alcohol use and nudity.

11. Friday the 13th, Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan: Jason’s trip to New York was a long, slow, dull descent, with the majority of the film taking place in a boat (from Crystal Lake to New York?), and only one scene actually filming in the Big Apple (the rest was filmed in Vancouver). And that ending was terrible: toxic waste makes Jason turn back to a little boy? You have to be kidding.

10. Friday the 13th, Part VII: A New Blood: Maybe the best makeup job of any of the “Friday” fims (check out his exposed bones), and the debut of the quintessential Jason, Kane Hodder. But the telekinetic introvert storyline? Pretty lame.

9. Jason Goes to Hell, The Final Friday: The most ridiculous Friday plotwise (Jason’s soul is a worm thing that can jump from body to body), and the absence of Jason proper for most of the film is headscratching, as is the mystical dagger thing that can kill him (when I saw the film on opening night, someone actually shouted “She-Ra! She-Ra!” at the moment the dagger transformed). But it has a sharp wit and the ending, with Freddy’s glove snatching Jason’s mask, is an unforgettable final image.

8. Friday the 13th, Part VI: Jason Lives: Tommy Jarvis’ farewell to the series, and the most mainstream of the original series (Alice Cooper even added songs to the soundtrack). But being the only Friday with no nudity keeps it from climbing higher in the rankings.

7. Friday the 13th, Part 2: Jason’s first appearance as a killer, but sans hockey mask (he didn’t get it until the midpoint of Part 3). “Baghead Jason” has its moments, and keeps continuity from the first film (The sole survivor from the first film is offed first, and the survivor from this film finds mother’s severed head, and puts on her sweater to confuse Jason.

6. Freddy Vs. Jason: A fun gorefest, even if it isn’t officially a Friday film. The clash of the horror titans goes off fine. Jason’s suddenly fear of water after countless films frolicking in Crystal Lake is an inconsistent, if interesting, development, and the ending is satisfying enough.

5. Friday the 13th (2009): A worthy, brutal redux that adds a dimension to Jason and explains somewhat his ability to seemingly be everywhere. Plenty of nekkidness, solid kills, and enough of a plot to make the series almost legitimate. A good, scary time.

4. Friday the 13th (1980): The original ranks this high mostly as a show of respect for its establishment of the format, which admittedly was ripped off from the far-superior “Halloween.” But the twist ending is spectacular, and the final scare ranks among the greatest of all time.

3. Friday the 13th, Part 3: A pedestrian effort in overall quality, but the fact that the film was done in 3-D makes it imminently watchable in 3- or 2-D. It has more well-rounded characters (especially the introverted Shelly, who it could be argued should have survived), and marks the beginning of the creative kills (the head-crushing scene is especially hilarious).

2. Friday the 13th: A New Beginning: Most would say the 5th entry, using an impostor Jason, is among the worst, but I couldn’t disagree more. Part V is pure hilarity all the way through. Ethel and Junior comprise the funniest characters in the series to date (and Anita and Demon are a close second), there are creative kills (hedge clippers to the eyes, leather strap around the head, road flare to the mouth, etc). Pure, cheesy 80s goodness from start to finish.

1. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter: Part 4 was to be the last Friday entry, bringing back effects maven Tom Savini and adding Crispin Glover and Corey Feldman to the cast (and Glover’s dancing alone is enough to warrant this film’s top slot). Friday 4 has a little of everything: it is the most tense of the Fridays, features maybe the best use of Jason as a monster, and has a legitimately shocking ending, with an 11-year-old boy vs. Jason.

Forum: Movies

Tags: 

Friday the 13th, Jason Voorhees, michael bay, Sean S. Cunningham, Betsy Palmer, kevin bacon, 3-D movies, horror, slasher, machete, ax

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1 comment

Ben Neff
Ben Neff, February 13, 2009
0 votes

I have to admit I miss Cripin’s nasally voice and awkwardness so common in 80’s movies.

How awesome was he in “River’s Edge” maaaan? (language NSFW)

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