Ladies and Gentleman we are being “dumbed down”. MTV, CBS, NBC, Fox, ABC, and VH1 are all attempting to make you dumber. They are force feeding us A.D.D. remedy TV shows and programs. Hell, MTV (Music Television) no longer even plays music or music related shows, maybe a video here or there at like 6am, when only working class people are up. This would be like ESPN no longer reporting sports, but just having reality shows and programs about a bi-sexual chick who can’t decide if they want to be with a male or female basketball player. That shit wouldn’t last for one damn minute, because people get serious about sports…and they used to do the same for music.

MTV’s first real program that established to me, that they no longer gave two shits about music was TRL back in like ‘99. Sounds like a good idea on paper, a music countdown show…only they didn’t play the music or show the videos, they just had 12 year old girls scream at the top of their lungs about how bad they wanted to see the video. News Flash: they were on Time Square…they couldn’t see the damn video anyway, and even if MTV played it, it was a 20 second segment….where the sound was diluted to allow more screams. WTF?! Who the hell would pay money to request a video to not even be played? Then, in recent years, has emerged the barrage of teenage audience shows…The Hills, Laguna Beach, Made, Sweet 16, Parental Control, Next, True Life. When did MTV decide to market only those that haven’t hit puberty? And they have also rode skateboarding’s satchel with shows like Viva La Bam, Rob and Big, Jackass, Life of Ryan and such. I’m not hating on all of these shows, but there is absolutely no musical connection with most or any of these shows. Well, on Sweet 16 they have an artist perform at some rich bitch’s party and show 10 milliseconds of the show. But if that counts…I’m going to start PTV (Political Television) with a game show where contestants deficate in Red and Blue political buckets and which ever is filled to the top is full of the most shit.

So MTV created another station…MTV2, for all music videos…awesome, now bands that need to get exposed and have spent a lot of money on videos can get some airtime…not so much. Playing videos didn’t last long; MTV2 is now riddled with reality, comedy and cartoon shows. Music videos just aren’t profitable anymore I guess. I never thought I’d give Justin Timberlake props (besides banging Diaz) but at the MTV awards a while back he said “I want to challenge MTV to play more videos!” Hell to the Yes…that is the point of the whole freaking station! VH-1 is no saint either, they used to play more of the adult type music and videos, now their shows have a dash of Down syndrome all over that network. I Love New York 3 or whatever it is up to these days…is a show, based off a show, based off a show, based off a show…etc. It started with Surreal life with Flavor Flav, that begat Flavor show with old tall ho Bridget something, that show begat Flavor of Love, which bred Charm School and I Love New York. Now this dog faced New York is famous for being famous and has her own shows for acting afool and whorish on another show. Man, did they get off on some tangents or what?! They just keep force feeding us shit, telling us it’s good, and America keeps eating and asking for more. They aren’t even sugar coating the shit anymore; I can actually see the corn chunks in each new turd.

But this reality TV junk is getting out of control on every station…and I’m convinced that Fox is Satan’s network. They put on a show “The Moment of Truth” where contestants could win money by answering tough questions like “Do fat people repulse you?” or “Have you ever touched a Co-worker inappropriately?”, “Did you look at a dude’s junk in the shower?”…these are like divorce questions. You will lose friends after this show, or at least shower pals…can they just get a show where you can sell your soul to the devil himself for loot? We can call it “Let’s make a deal…with the devil”. I could go for days on the reality TV topic. Networks and writers are just running out of idea’s, I guess, and getting Americans to do stupid crap in front of a national audience doesn’t require actors, or very good writing. The only other ideas we see these days are remakes or sequels…there is not a damn movie that comes out that hasn’t been made before or isn’t a rip-off of an old idea. Come up with something original…please! I do not want to see Gremlins 5 in a few years with CGI Gremlins taking out the Taliban with the use of HGH.

After you filter through the 250 doctor, forensics, lawyer, cop, and high school soap operas. The new Riddlin they feed us is these gimmick shows for us who have a deficit for attention. Every new show that comes out has some sort of attention grabbing gimmick: Lost, Prison Break, 24, Terminator, Heroes, Pushing Daisies, Life on Mars..etc. These would all probably make for an awesome movie or mini-series, but span a thin plot over 4 years and they become unrealistic and stretch things a little too far. Don’t get me wrong, I like Lost and Heroes, but I see what the networks are trying to do with these shows, they appeal to our lack of attention. Constant cliff hangers and plot twists…they write most of these shows off the seat of their ass as the season goes on, based on how the audience is reacting to the show. Part of me likes to know that there is a scripted end in sight and I’m not watching an improv show that could never be figured out because the writers read message boards and change the story. I mean how long can Jack Bauer go before he sleeps or drops a deuce on camera, or once you’ve broke out of prison shouldn’t the show be called “The Fugitive”? Give me back Seinfeld; that show’s gimmick was that it didn’t have a gimmick. But every one of these gimmicky goon squad shows look like a hot cousin at a Kentucky family reunion compared to a show based off of an insurance companies commercials: Cavemen. COME ON NOW! Even that Corky from “Life Goes On” thought that shit was retarded.

I started to watch a show a few years back on NBC, Studio 60. It was a really smart and witty drama/comedy staring Amanda Peet and Mathew Perry about the lives of the people behind the late night skit shows like SNL. The writing was good, the acting was solid and the plots were smart and fit with today’s society and provided some perspective….of course America isn’t ready for quality or substance and its first season was its last. It’s like someone turning down 50 dollars and begging for 50 cents instead, because it shines “purtier”. Good quality television is being ignored and pushed aside if it isn’t reality or if it’s over the head of the average “dumbed down” American. Go watch Arrested Development’s last season, they were literally resulting to looking at the camera and begging you to watch the show…and you should have, it was amazing. But as bad as television is our modern music isn’t exactly breaking new ground with quality…

“I’m hot cause I’m fly, you aint cause you not” was a top lyric on our pop charts…I want to punch every single person in the throat that listens to this crap. What is wrong with the modern day music scene or the people subscribing to it? Where’s the guitar solos in today’s rock? Where did the DJ go from hip-hop songs? I want scratching back in rap songs….not voice correcting, robot sounding, software on every single that comes out. Where are the quality lyrics and on-point topics? We have taken musical talent and replaced it with grunts and chants and sloppy slang that don’t even make any damn sense…“super soak this ho”. I can only imagine that means jerk your junk onto a woman. Are you kidding me….how is that allowed on the air?! Where are the modern day Rakim’s, A Tribe Called Quest’s or Public Enemies? I want substance…I don’t care how big the freaking rims on your car are, or how much money you have, it is meaningless to me. You can’t even see the rims spin when you’re in the car, playa!!!! Modern rock is no better really…I can’t name a damn band that I hear on the “alternative” rock station…because they only have one single and they fade back out to mediocrity. They might as well have their album premier party in the clearance section at Circuit City. Who are the Pearl Jam, Nirvana or the Red Hot Chili Peppers of this generation? What bands are sticking around? If they had another Woodstock, who would represent? Soulja Boy? Fergie? Blink 182? Buck Cherry? Kate Perry? U2 part 2…err Cold Play? I’d punch a baby to hear it cry before I’d go to that crap fest. It would have to consist of all indie rock bands, which seems to remain the only realm of quality music. But quality music doesn’t sell anymore…they mask it in commercials and in the background of movies, but never on MTV or on the pop radio stations. There will be no greatest hits of the 2000’s, there won’t be 00’s dance night at the Vogue in 20 years. The music just isn’t quality enough to last, it’s here and now music. It’s intended for 13-20 year olds who will graduate college and be like “I listened to this shit?!”

So that’s my rant…I’m no elitist, I like some dumb television and music too. Like everything, it has it’s time and place, but it shouldn’t make up 90% of our public options. Quality needs to be appreciated and rewarded, we must stop buying and listening to this garbage that emerges from the talentless generation we live in. Although I doubt’s it’s you reading this that support this crap…so encourage your friends and family to do the same…through insults and laughter as they play crappy CD’s or watch ‘The Bachelor’ bang four girls in a weekend. Do what you can to preserve the nation’s future of entertainment and prevent the “dumbing down” of America.

Thank you.