As Yoda would say, "A very large break, giving me, you should."

Between newspapers, magazines and Web journeys, I must have encountered 8,347 stories about "how to keep the calories down on Thanksgiving."

Sacrilege, I say!

Would these authors give advice on how to give your kids fewer presents on Christmas without making them squawk? How to make Ramadan less holy? How to take the romance out of Valentine's Day?

Not without wanting to get rhymes-with-witch-slapped by perfect strangers. And nobody should be trying to "keep things lite" on turkey day.

Thanksgiving is a day of plenty. It's about celebrating the fall harvest and giving thanks for what we've got. And we express that by eating until candied yams are running out of our nostrils.

Look, nobody is going to die or even get fat by overdoing it one day out of the year. The average adult would have to eat nearly 6,000 calories on Thanksgiving just to gain a single pound. So cool it with the diet talk and lay on the butter.

Same goes for Halloween. Let the children stuff their faces with treats one day out of the year. They won't die.

Actually, it's better to segment unhealthy behavior into recognized, sanctioned special occasions rather than dealing with a year-round temptation to down four pounds of turkey in one sitting.

Even the smallest child understands the concept of a holiday: "Hey. Today is special. The normal rules don't apply. Go knock yourself out."