If Bob didn't stop you, he didn't want to

The chief export of Bob Sanders is Pain.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Bob Sanders allows to live.

It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Bob Sanders a giant meteor.

On a high school math test, Bob Sanders put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Bob Sanders solves all his problems with violence.

Bob Sanders wasn't born - he punched his way out of the womb.

Bob Sanders has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Bob Sanders.

Bob Sanders is actually Colonel Sanders with a face lift.

Bob Sanders always stands out in a crowd, because he's the only one left standing.

Bob Sanders wasn't born. He was forged.

Bob Sanders doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Bob Sanders sleeps with the lights on because the dark is afraid of him.

Ooops, I forgot. Bob Sanders doesn't sleep. He waits.

Bob Sanders can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Bob Sanders doesn't force fumbles ... the ball comes along willingly.

Superman wears Bob Sanders pajamas.

70% of the earth is covered by water. The rest is covered by Bob Sanders.

Some people see the glass as half full. Others see it as half empty. Bob Sanders sees the glass as a deadly weapon.

When Bob Sanders does a push up he doesn't actually push himself up. He pushes the earth down.