B-movie bin: 'Malibu High'

joe.shearer

January 28, 2009 by joe.shearer

0 votes

Discovered: Noblesville Best Buy, part of the Drive-In Cult Classics ($6.99).

Starring: Jill Lansing, Stuart Taylor, Phyllis Benson.

Director: Irvin Berwick.

Plot summary: Kim, a disaffected high school senior (Lansing) in danger of flunking out, sleeps with her male teachers to improve her grades. Soon she goes pro, then slides into a sordid life of crime that sees her transition from prostitute to hit woman.

Best lines: Kim, to her mother: “Don’t joke about Daddy! No wonder he couldn’t stand it here! You know, you could have looked decent once in a while instead of worrying about dirt and dust and greasy build-up! Then you wouldn’t have driven him away!”

Let’s get nekkid: The movie’s first nude scene occurs 45 seconds in. All of the love scenes consist of Lansing making out with men and rolling around, topless, with them.

Sound effects: A soundtrack that would make Pac-Man proud, with synthesizers providing bleep-and-bloop transition effects. A piece of music called “The Heist,” better known as the theme to “The People’s Court,” paces the film’s climax, a dull chase scene on the beach.

Welcome to the ’70s: All the best of the disco era — poofy, layered haircuts and tube-top tan lines for the girls, bushy sideburns and pencil mustaches for the boys. A sequence at a dance showcases at least two solid minutes of pure, unadulterated disco fever.

Casting: Lansing, in her first and last starring role, looks less like a high school student than Luke Perry circa 1992. She plays a sex kitten despite a dearth of sex appeal.

Odd plot twists: The film’s midsection sheds the high-school setting, as Kim becomes a ruthless contract killer, bumping off her former pimp and random others before fatally arousing her elderly, weak-hearted principal after he discovers her scheme.

Cheese Rating: Three out of five wedges

Posted in groups: Movies

Forum: Movies

Tags: 

b-movies, corny movies, cheesy, Old movies, cult movies

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