RELATED EVENTS

• Killers of Comedy Tour

The Reverend Bob Levy has a very interesting story about how he broke one of his front teeth in Seattle. (Submitted photo)

Beetlejuice claims to have trained boxing champs a full decade before he was born. (Submitted photo)

Yucko the Clown has got to have one of the most offensive standup acts out there. (Submitted photo)

Shuli co-hosts "The Miserable Men" show with the Reverend Bob Levy and Jim Florentine on Sirius Satellite Radio channel Stern 101. (Submitted photo)

David Lindquist was wearing a mysterious grin when he handed me a press release about the "Killers of Comedy" tour and said it would make a great story.

Lindquist, The Star's pop-music critic, explained that the tour, which stops Saturday at the Music Mill, features cronies from "The Howard Stern Show." He giggled while giving me background on all the characters: the Reverend Bob Levy; Sal the Stockbroker, a prank-call whiz; Richard Christy, legendary heavy metal drummer and porn aficionado; Yucko the Clown, a greasepaint-sporting insult comic; Shuli, a member of the Stern 100 News team; and Beetlejuice, the pinhead dwarf.

I know who Howard Stern is. I listened to tapes my uncle from Buffalo made for me when I was a kid. I thought his anal-stage shtick was puerile when I was 13.

But while I'm familiar with longtime Wack Pack members like Beetlejuice and own records featuring Richard Christy, I wouldn't know the rest of the guys if they shared a cubicle with me. The resulting online search took me to the nadir of human culture.

The show, like Stern's radio programming, is the zenith of idiocy. These are men who handle each other's genitals on-air, shoot paintball pellets at each other's behinds, ogle porn actresses and trade insults that play on offensive racial, sexual, religious, and cultural stereotypes. They make any "Jackass" cast member look like a curator at the Louvre by comparison. They are vile, crass, ignorant, intellectually and emotionally retarded.

Most comedians do a traditional Monday-to- Sunday tour, but this group kills only on weekends -- lest they kill themselves. "We'd be dead if we were gone for a week," Levy said.

The self-abuse this group engages in is best illustrated by the tale of Levy's problem tooth, regaled in part on a YouTube video.

Levy broke one of his front teeth in Seattle; he doesn't remember how. He shouted at the tour promoter that he had to get it fixed before that night's show, but Beetlejuice's desire to see the Space Needle won out. " Space_, mother_, " Beet said in the background of the video.

Levy had to settle for repairing the tooth with Krazy Glue. "I couldn't hit it with a cigarette. It was horrible," he said. The tooth broke again that week when he was chewing on a pen. Glue, Round 2. "The third time I ripped it on a cocaine bag," Levy said.

After spending a day watching online videos of these guys, I could understand why Levy tore into that bag. Seeing Levy coach Wack Pack member Gary the Retard call someone "a stupid Jew" made me die a little inside. Documentaries on ethnic cleansing have left me in better spirits. I watched videos all afternoon, getting clubbed with stupidity until I felt like an infant seal on an ice floe.

And then I laughed. It might have happened after Yucko the Clown asked two Stetson-sporting guys in a bar in Nashville, Tenn., how they've been since "Brokeback Mountain." It might have been Beetlejuice detailing his sexual exploits while sitting on a couch next to Mr. T. Or it could very well have been when Levy open-hand slapped Danny Bonaduce for "being an idiot." But I laughed. And I kept laughing, and I felt horrible about it. Still do.

Yet I wasn't convinced that this band of not-so-merry pranksters would be so funny in person. Radio shtick and situational comedy among friends don't translate to the stage.

"We take stand-up very, very seriously. We take writing very seriously," said Sal "the Stockbroker" Governale. "We try to sneak out to the city and work on material whenever we can."

But no matter how hard Levy, Shuli, Christy, and Governale try, "The Killers of Comedy" is not a comedy show. "It's kind of like a rock concert," Governale said, and it relies as much on the unpredictability of Yucko, Beet and the Iron Sheik's interactions with the crowd as he does on classic stand-up.

The crowd is an essential component. The fat has been trimmed from Stern's audience since his move to satellite radio, leaving only the devoted followers who know all the characters and all the bits.

"It's weird that the fans know more about me than some of my family," Levy said. "When you're in the Stern show, you just think you're hanging out with them. You don't realize that you're on the radio."

To hear Levy tell it, some audience members forget that they are in public. The comedian finishes his act each night by eating bleu cheese from betwixt a female audience member's cheeks. "Everywhere we go the crowd surprises me," said Levy. "We were in Houston on Saturday and I got a mother and daughter. The dad was there; he videotaped it."

Governale recounted the same story when I asked him about audience response. "Granted, it looked more like a father and son," he said.

Repulsive, repugnant and retrograde. And hilarious.

Background checks

Beetlejuice

Lester Green redefines "handi-capable." Green, aka Beetlejuice or Beet, sang in 2004 that "he's bad as can be and he knows he's the best." Beet stands barely 4 feet tall and suffers from microcephaly but Stern fans would probably call him a pinhead. Beet's profane, semicoherent ramblings and propensity to tell outrageous lies (such as claiming to have trained boxing champs a full decade before he was born) made him one of the most popular recurring characters in the Stern universe.

Iron Sheik

Yeah, THAT Iron Sheik. Like many cultural artifacts of the 1980s, the World Wrestling Federation's greatest heel was resurrected by YouTube, and the Sheik recently began appearing on the Stern family of shows on Sirius Satellite Radio. Sheik, known to family as Khosrow Vaziri, erupts with spasmodic rage when discussing America, Jews, homosexuals and Hulk Hogan.

Yucko the Clown

Hiya, kids -- everybody loves a racist clown! No matter your hot-button issue -- race, religion, sexual orientation, disability -- Yucko will push it, poke it, prod it, and jump up and down on it until you laugh or leave. His offensive bits have appeared on the Jimmy Kimmel Show, the Damn Show DVDs and MTV2's Stankervision.

Shuli

Struggling comedian Shuli Egar hustled his way onto the Stern show, turning a one-week audition on the Howard 100 News team into a full-time gig. He now co-hosts "The Miserable Men" show with Stern roast-master the Reverend Bob Levy and Jim Florentine on Sirius Satellite Radio channel Stern 101.

Event information

Doors open at 7 p.m. for "The Killers of Comedy" show at 8 p.m. May 10 at the Music Mill, 3720 E. 82nd St. Tickets are $25, available at www.cleanboxentertainment.com. Info: (317) 841-1850.

The Killers of Comedy may be official Howard Stern cronies, but the shock jock is calling Earthquake "his new favorite comedian." The stand-up showmaster has performed on just about every well-known cable comedy show, plus has appeared in "Clerks II" and "Everybody Hates Chris." Earthquake headlines shows May 8, 9 and 10 at Morty's Comedy Joint, 3625 E. 96th St. On May 8, a jazz performance opens the show, with seating at 6 p.m. Tickets are $25 in advance; $30 the day of show. Friday and Saturday showtimes are 7:30 and 10:30 p.m. Tickets are $29 in advance or $35 day of show. Details: (317) 848-5500.

For high-topic humor, take a seat at the Murat Theatre, 502 N. New Jersey St., wherecomic and cult figure Eddie Izzard -- star of FX's "The Riches" -- takes the stage at 8 p.m. May 10. Tickets are $37-$57. Details: www.murat.com