Adventurer Kate Johnson put on an Indians bat boy uniform and got a taste of life in the dugout. One ballplayer suggested the letters stand for "Bat Broad." (Photo illustration by Jordan David)

Click here to watch a video of Kate at Victory Field for a night as a bat girl for the Indianapolis Indians

A few weekends ago I entered another world. A world filled with sweaty, crotch-grabbing, spitting men.

No, I didn't accidentally walk into a Far-Eastside dive. I spent time in the dugout at an Indianapolis Indians game.

My assignment seemed simple: I was charged with being a bat girl for one inning. Teenagers do this, for minimum wage. How hard could it be?

Turns out, it was more embarrassing than difficult. My experience with baseball diamonds ended in elementary school, eating Fun Dip while watching my brothers play. But, here I was: ready to sprint out and pick up the bat after a ball is hit -- or if a player is too lazy or angry to take it back to the dugout after striking out.

Matt Segal, media-relations manager, hooked me up with front-row seats in the dugout, as that is where you are stationed to rescue the bats -- as well as any bat shrapnel or splinters -- left on the field at the end of a play.

First, though, I had to don a uniform that was two sizes too big. I changed into it anyway, my pink sneaks hinting that the "BB" on my jersey should be "BG," as player Andrew McCutchen pointed out. I agreed. Another player, Craig Wilson, suggested "Bat Broad."

As my time to take the field neared, I realized I had forgotten to put on my belt. Matt sent a minion to retrieve it for me, as I was lovingly harassed by a big red, fuzzy bear named Rowdie, the mascot. He even let me wear his giant baseball cap.

The game began, and Matt Brown, operations assistant, gave me two minutes of training. Thankfully, he stayed at my side for the rest of the time and helped me establish my goals:

• Don't run onto the field in the middle of a play.

• Don't pull a hammy.

• Don't fall down.

• Don't screw anything up.

Matt B. and I stood in the corner of the dugout during the first inning as I watched the teenager whose duties I would take over in the second. He made it look so easy.

Pawtucket went to bat for the top of the second inning, which turned out to be a very, very long one, as they scored run after run.

Finally, the Indians went to bat. I jogged -- like a girl no doubt -- onto the field to grab a total of three bats in as many plays. I had to hold my pants up while doing it, and my helmet was always a jiggle away from jumping off my head.

After my hard work, as I took off my helmet (complete with facemask), I thought, I don't ever want to do that again.

I had tried to blend in, sort of. I even fooled a player with the roll of Bubble Tape in my back pocket. (Sorry, dude. No chew for you.)

But in the end, this game requires you to wear a cup for a reason.

Suit up

Interested in being a bat boy/girl for the 2009 season? Call (317) 269-3542 after Jan. 1.