I agree. Not only is it annoying to diners, I HATE it when I am actually waiting on one of these screamers!!!!

Last night I had one kid hide under a booth and assault people with peanuts as they walked by. So the terrific parents ordered the kid ICE CREAM to shut him up, needless to say their clever parenting skills really didn't do the trick. He later spent most of the evening in the walk way crushing peanuts with the silver bucket that is supposed to go on the table....

If my child ever acts out in a public place, he gets one chance to chill out, if not and he continues to misbehave we would leave!

As someone who has kids, this is always something we struggle with. I think this is as frustrating for the parents as it is for everyone else. Even when you child "knows better" they are still going to act up. We get compliments on how well behaved our kids are all the time, but there are still times when they still scream and throw fits everywhere. They're kids. They don't care.

Going out in public is always dicey, but you can't leave kids indoors 24 hours a day. They are growing, taking in their surroundings, and learning social skills. They will never learn if they are kept inside all the time.

In the end, it comes down to what is more important: someone else's level of comfort or convenience, or my child's social well being. Sorry, but I am choosing my kid.

I agree you can't keep a kid in the house all the time, they have to have social interaction for growth. Yet and still, it begins at home the ground rules have to be set so that they are aware of how to behave at home and in public. Yes, there are times when a child might get out of control, once or twice. But the conduct that this kid had was not a once or twice thing and not once did the mother do anything to display any sort of control nor discipline. Sorry, but I think it's a cop out for a parent to use this as an excuse for misbehavior. I know several parents with multiple kids and they certainly do not go out and act out in public. Every child is going to try their parent, I'm a parent this I know. My kid did it ONCE. That was the first and the last. It's about consideration for the other patrons. As a consumer, I wasn't at all happy with ending a busy, hectic week with a screaming kid while I'm trying to relax. It was somewhat selfish on the mother to allow her child to be so out of line and very inconsiderate for her to continue to sit there while it is taking place. Although, not quite fair, I can understand while some establishments are starting to ban children in a certain age group from there business. I can't say I blame them. It is about respect for others around you and their level of comfort as well as your own. That is why the smoking ban has been put in place, that is why we can't have sex in public, that is why we can't go to certain establishments in the nude, and well all roll our eyes when someone is speaking loudly on their cell phone about private subject matters. Hey, look at the Carmel parents who want Victoria Secrets to tone down their window display, this all has to do with the comfort level of another person. As a parent, I would never have allowed such antics to take place and I certainly wouldn't keep feeding into the misbehavior.

Hey Allison, my hats off to you!!! Next time point them to Chuck E. Cheese.

I'll admit, I do not have kids of my own, but I have helped my husband raise his two sons. (Thankfully, they're past the acting-out age.) If we all go out to a family style restaurant, I'm a little more forgiving with other people's noisy kids. Afterall, it's a FAMILY restaurant, they purposefully have louder music that helps to drown out the chatter. Of course, a kid who's out of control or directly interfering with other people's dining experiences can really ruin a night out.

If my husband and I want to go out for a quiet and relaxing dinner, we choose a restaurant that we know is a little more formal or upscale. In that sort of setting, I certainly would be upset if other parents thought it appropriate to bring in noisy kids.

I agree with the others that good manners start at home, and are then practiced in appropriate settings.

I definitely agree that rules need to be set and you can't let your child run all over you, and you certainly can't reward bad behavior. Buying your kid something to shut them up is definitely not the best way of operating.

But in correcting your child, you face a new issue: you're either the parent who lets their child run all over you, or you're the mean parent who is yelling at your kid.

Personally I much prefer being the latter, and I honestly don't have any problem being that parent, because I'm not afraid to take my kid into the bathroom for some straightening out when it's necessary.

In our case in particular, our son just turned three and he's a terror, running all over and screeching whereever he wants. And we definitely correct him, but there's still times we get those looks, especially now that our 8-month-old is mimicking her brother. We choose to still take them out because we think it's better for them to learn, even if it irritates some of those other people.

I'm sorry - but if you're at someplace like Bob Evans it's par for the course that you may encounter screaming kids, or loud conversations from the table next to you or a whole host of other "distractions". It's Bob Evans for heaven's sake. I could see if you were at Shula's or Ruth Chris' but Bob Evans is a place where you are going to have groups of people and children and lots of noise. Restaurants like Applebees, Bob Evans, etc. are not places where I would expect to have a quiet intimate dinner.

I do agree that children need to be taught appropriate behavior. We've had our kid in restaurants ranging from Red Lobster to Palomino to Wasabi on 86th to Capital Grille in his eight years of life. The only time we had an issue with his behavior was during a meet up with some out of town friends at Bazbeaux on Mass Avenue. That was a disaster - my husband did end up taking him outside because that place is SO small, there was no way we could keep him in there.

I think parents need to take the kids out except for places like Chuck E Cheeses, McDonalds, fast food places, anyplace with plastic silverwear. At sit-downs like Bob Evans, O'Charley, etc, you need to leave if your little one gets going too loudly. I certain amount of behaviour is expected in little ones, but some of us go out to these kind of places for a nice dinner. We can't afford Shula's or Ruth Chris'. And parents, youre only making it worse for yourself. Better to pack up one or two meals and go home with a child who understands he or she blew it (their special going out to a big person restauant). Next time if you warn them it'll happen again it's less likely to happen. And the next time less likely still.

Reward them for good behaviour at home or on the way home - an ice cream from DQ or somewhere. They're more likely to behave better if they understand you'll enforce the rules CONSISTANTLY.

Going off of the original post, I think if you're a responsible parent it doesn't exactly mean that your child never raises their voice in public, but that you're legitimately working toward teaching them to be appropriate in public places, which was Crystal's original point, and doing something about it rather than treating the symptom (the screaming) and not the problem (their behavior).

That's not to say you won't be embarrassed (and believe me, that happens), but as long as you are working at it (and taking them out when they get too loud), I'm cool.

I had to take my son Riley out of Jockamo's the first time we went because he was upset (he had just woken up from a nap, then inexplicably swallowed a penny, and was really scared and upset). He was really whiny and wouldn't stop crying, so I took him outside to calm him and brought him back.

But like others have mentioned, based on the places you go, you have to know you're risking that kind of environment. There is a distinction I think between somewhere like Bob Evans, which is a much more informal than even chains like O'Charley's or Applebees (though the latter is usually so loud it doesn't matter as much anyway).

EXCELLENT point deb5683. I totally agree, and you totally said what I was trying to convey!

Part of having kids is dealing with disasters and tantrums and craziness. It is our jobs as parents to teach kids (and sometimes ourselves) how to deal with life's little issues responsibly, even if it is uncomfortable for us, i.e., having to leave the grocery, or a restaurant mid meal.

I think when a parent says, "oh there kids they don't care." well isn't it your job as a parent to discipline them and teach them the correct way to act in a public place?

Let me clarify by saying, by all means take your kid out... take him/her wherever you want to go, but PLEASE be a strong enough Parent to keep your kid in line.

I want to be so belligerent in the lack of patience many have shared in this post on the con-kids-at-Bob-Evans side of the argument. My wife and I have five kids and they grew up in a restaurant environment and I am a hard-nosed Dad and kids will act up and they don't learn what you will do to them in the bathroom until they push the envelope. I can't stand pushover parents but the only reason I bet that mom was trying to appease her child was for the courtesy of you and other diners like yourself.

You did it when you were a child. I hope your children don't. And some day if you don't have any children it will be those screaming kids who pay your and my social security and maybe take care of us in nursing homes as they have grown and matured as we have reverted back to a child-like existence.

Besides... it was Bob Evan's! Clanking plates, loud cooks, hungover college kids and octegenarians. What does anyone really expect?

Allison, I think that was Crystal's point as well (and I have an inside knowledge on that, because she's my wife :). She wasn't so much saying "Oh, kids don't care...let them do what they want." She was saying "Something you have to deal with is that they know they're in public, they just don't care sometimes." That's not to say she and I don't discipline our kids in public, and we certainly just don't appease them as others do.

I suspect there's a greater amount of agreement among us than some may think. Crystal's perspective and my own is like this: discipline is necessary. Quieting your kids without giving in to their tantrums is very necessary. But screaming, unruly kids in public restaurants are a fact of life. We're all sorry, please bear with us while we teach them to behave appropriately in public. :)

My ultimate point would be to add that I'll deal with a loud child as long as the parents are making legitimate efforts to quiet them, understanding that they get cranky when they're tired, and that it's very frustrating and embarrassing for the parents as well.

Ah, I see. I must have misinterpreted what Crystal was originally trying to say. Thanks for clarifying, Joe. I totally agree with your points!

I just get pissed off when parents sit there and ignore there children and allow them to act out and don't even lift a finger to stop it! Which obviously you guys are not those type of parents!

I'm in agreement, but my point is the parent who just allows it. Who caves or "bargains" as a means of quieting an unruly child;"I'll get you an ice cream cone if you quiet down." Sorry, can't say I agree with that as a means of discipline. For those parents who think this is the answer, please for the sake of everyone else that has a hectic life and would like to relax and enjoy a decent meal, keep your kids at home or work on your child rearing skills. Imagine if every parent in a kid friendly establishment had disruptive kids at the same time. Doesn't sound like a good evening in my opinion. Kid friendly doesn't mean Kid-does-as-you-please-and-no-one-can-enjoy-their-meal-because-we-allow-kids-to-run-the-place.

I absolutely agree there. There is a big difference between rewarding your child and bribing them. It's more effective I think to teach your child the consequences of their continued unacceptable behavior, rather than bribe them. That does nothing for the child and only treats the symptom rather than the actual problem. Ultimately that's self-defeating for a parent to do, and something that I find really irritating as well.