Today:
Posted: Oct 24, 2007 in Things to do, Movies
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What's your favorite "bad" movie? Two that immediately come to mind are "Dolemite" and "Road House," two flicks that are so bad they're good.
When I say bad movies, I'm not talking about intentionally bad movies, so things like "Grindhouse" and comedies like "The Naked Gun" or "Airplane" do not qualify. These have to be legitimately bad films that someone thought would make some money and have poor production values or especially bad acting.
Showgirls.
Purple Rain is up there too.
Man! I loved Purple Rain too. That may have more to do with the soundtrack than the content, though.
Two words: 'Mommie Dearest' No... wire... hangers. What's wire hangers doing in this closet when I told you: no wire hangers EVER? I work and work 'till I'm half-dead, and I hear people saying, "She's getting old." And what do I get? A daughter... who cares as much about the beautiful dresses I give her... as she cares about me. What's wire hangers doing in this closet? Answer me. I buy you beautiful dresses, and you treat them like they were some dishrag. You do. Three hundred dollar dress on a wire hanger. We'll see how many you've got if they're hidden somewhere. We'll see... we'll see. Get out of that bed. All of this is coming out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. You've got any more? We're gonna see how many wire hangers you've got in your closet. Wire hangers, why? Why? Christina, get out of that bed. Get out of that bed. You live in the most beautiful house in Brentwood and you don't care if your clothes are stretched out from wire hangers. And your room looks like some two-dollar-a-week furnished room in some two-bit back street town in Okalahoma. Get up. Get up. Clean up this mess.
I'm fully aware this is sacrilege against The Coz, but does "Leonard Part 6" count?
I was SO gonna say Mommie Dearest. I saw it when I was a kid (read the book, too! What can I say, I'm ambitious!), loved it and didn't know until recently that it's considered one of the worst movies EVER!! My favorite scene is when Christina's a teenager and Mommie Dearest is on top of her trying to choke her and her legs are flailing every which way. Makes me laugh...I'm a bit sick and twisted that way!
"Leonard Part 6" absolutely counts.
I also just watched the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie (I fished it out of Wal Mart's $5 bin...uh, for my son), and it was b-a-double d. I think the second one should get the nod over the first, both because of Super Shredder and Vanilla Ice's classic "go ninja, go ninja go" song. Just craptastic.
Oh, and another that I will absolutely watch any time I see it on TV (which isn't often)...No Holds Barred. I was the ultimate Hulk Hogan disciple as a kid. For those who didn't follow wrestling at that time, they took the bad guy from that movie ("Tiny" Lister of "Friday" fame), and made him a real wrestling bad guy to go against the Hulkster, with the story being he was mad because he lost in the movie. I'm not joking.
Just about any 80s slasher flick would count in this category too.
Another just came to mind. "Trespass." Pretty bad movie, but very watchable. It has Bill Paxton and Bill Sadler as some firemen who find a "treasure map" of sorts that leads to East St. Louis, Ill, of course a horribly bad ghetto area. A gang led by Ice-T and Ice Cube find out they're there and want to know what they're doing in this abandoned building.
In addition to Sadler, it has two other "Die Hard" vets: the limo driver from the first one, and the air traffic controller from Die Hard 2.
I consider myself a bit of a movie junkie so I've seen my share of bad flicks. Here are just a few off the top of my head:
My all-time favorite "bad" movie is "Nothing But Trouble". It's currently at 11% at rottentomatoes.com which is REALLY bad. It's a dark comedy with an all-star cast including Chevy Chase, Demi Moore, John Candy, and Dan Aykroyd. Chevy and Demi go on a road trip to Atlantic City and are talked into taking a scenic detour by their nutty Brazilian travel companions. The detour takes them through the decrepit town of Valkenvania, where they manage to run the only stop sign in town. After a brief police chase, they are apprehended and taken to see the "Shire Reeve" (played by Aykroyd), who is a 100+ year old nutcase. He sentences them to be held for a later appearance and the rest of the movie is spent navigating the not-so-innocent funhouse that has secret passages, booby traps, and a rollercoaster called "Mr. Bone Crusher". One of the other highlights of the movie are the disgusting, child-like twins Bo Bo and Lil' Debbull (They're not allowed in the house), who live in the junkyard surrounding the courthouse.
I've always had an obsession with road-side oddities and houses with secret passages, so this movie always intrigued me. The acting is dated, but I don't think it's particularly BAD. It's definitely an underrated gem.
Any of the Tremors movies or Heston-free Planet of the Apes sequels. Particular craptacularity goes to the one with Ricardo Montalban. ("Khaaaaaaaaaaaan!")
Enemy Mine is more of a guilty pleasure than a bad movie, but it hasn't aged well. Any film in which Louis Gossett Jr. plays a pregnant alien and Dennis Quaid plays a midwife must be terrible on some level.
Also, I rented The Monster Squad recently, hoping to feel like a kid again. Horrible in so many ways -- little kids calling each other "fag," a vampire that does not bite anyone, and a wolfman played by Uncle Rico. That's only the beginning. Worst. Goonies ripoff. Ever.
I'd have to argue "Tremors" is intentionally bad, but still a good mention. Monster Squad is great as well.
And John King, I can't let you sit by and disparage my beloved Star Trek II. But I'll have to give you a couple of craptacular moments in it, because there certainly are.
Have you ever seen "The Apple"? Some friends (though I hesitate to call them such after exposing me to this movie) hosted a So Bad They're Awesome movie night. It was a double feature of "The Apple" and "Xanadu," with clips from Smallville as an in-between palate cleanser. I can't remember when I laughed--and cringed--so much in one evening.
Okay, Joe: good digs on Sadler. I saw "Trespass" with my little brother at the Cherry Tree Lowes Movie Theater (which no longer exists); and I remember the two of us thinking we were about to witness the next "New Jack City." Sadly, no Nino Brown, but plenty of "T"...of the Ice and Cube varieties, that is.
Similarly: what are your feelings about 1993's gem, "Judgment Night"?
I too caught "Trespass" at Cherry Tree. All flaws aside, that place is my favorite theater of all time, god rest its tortured soul.
I never managed to catch Emilio Estevez's "remake" of "Trespass,"(er, I mean homage), but I'd wager to say it's inferior in every conceivable way to the original.
Night of the Living Dead, the original black and white of course! Creepy and campy.
High Spirits starring one of the finest actors of our generation, Mr. Steve Guttenberg. Truly an awful movie. Speaking of Emilio, what about Men at Work? And for all you Nell fans, "Like a tee ina win misa chick-pee, misa tay tay" How the Oscar escaped Jodie for that one I'll never know.
All of the "Best of the Best" movies except the first one. It's funny how if the movie almost holds together the first time and barely breaks even, they think that two more are needed.
Ah, Digital..."Men at Work" is one of my favorites too. I have to watch it every time it comes on Comedy Central (which at one time was like every 6 hours).
LOVE that one. Keith David (as the crazy dude that kidnaps the pizza guy and has 'Nam flashbacks) is beyond great in that movie.
Phantasm! Two young boys must escape an army of Jawas who bleed nacho cheese, in order to defeat the old man and his flying silver orb. Phantastically bad, with four equally-bad sequels! :)
Heh...Joe, John King loves himself some Star Trek II. But yeah, "Khaaaaaan!" is awesome for a whole different reason.
http://www.khaaan.com
Also: Ricardo Montalban was in not one, but TWO Apes movies -- the 3rd and 4th.
Anyone seen any of the From Dusk Til Dawn sequels? I hear they're awwwful.
White Chicks,Little Man,Soul Plane
Return of the Living Dead
The Wiz...all the way... Diana Ross, Michael Jackson, Lena Horne, Richard Pryor...does it get any more star-studded for a Bad Movie?!
Bring It On. Cheesy and horrible through and through. But I can't help but love it . . . despite my hatred of Kirsten Dunst.
John King, I think I saw the first "Dusk" sequel...it had Robert Patrick, right?
I honestly don't remember much about it, though.
How about John Carpenter's classic "Escape from New York"? Kurt Russell did a great job of channeling Clint Eastwood in that wonderful flick.
I recently saw "Plan 9 From Outer Space," and I could not stop laughing. It was marvelously horrible. At one point, in a graveyard, as an actor exits he accidentally kicks over one of the headstones. That's a must-see for anyone.
Tromeo & Juliet Drop Dead Fred
DROP DEAD FRED. Omg, I love that movie. Such silliness!
1994's "Clifford" with Martin Short, Charles Grodin, Mary Steenburgen, and Dabney Coleman. Martin Short plays a 10-year-old boy. Charles Grodin has a bad toupee...so does Dabney Coleman.
Okay...here's one: Friday the 13th, Part 5: A New Beginning. Has some of the funniest bad-movie scenes ever.
1). The backwoods mom and son who own the land around the "home" where Tommy Jarvis (the kid who battled Jason in parts 4-6) is sent. They are HILARIOUS in all of their scenes. 2). The trailer park couple who are oh so 80s, and the resulting duet/death scene they have in and out of the trailer park's outhouse (including one of the best-delivered lines in cinematic history, as the man is doing his number 2 and his girlfriend rattles the outhouse, he said "you're gonna get it, b---h!). 3). The backwoods son's death scene by meat cleaver as he's manically riding his motorcycle around the yard after Tommy beat him up.
If you've never seen part 5, you need to do the silly part of yourself a favor and rent it. Tonight.
My all-time favorite "bad" movie is "Nothing But Trouble". It's currently at 11% at rottentomatoes.com ...
Oh no! That is my LEAST favorite movie EVER! I remember sitting in the movie theater with my parents wondering how I could escape! Kind of funny now.
However, my vote for the best bad movie is the 1960 version of HG Wells' The Time Machine. Its fantastic in a Mystery-Science-Theater-3000 kind of way.
Ah, Digital..."Men at Work" is one of my favorites too. I have to watch it ...
Your love for awful cinema is truly unparalled my friend!
Has anyone seen Eraserehead? I Beleive It's a David Lynch, or the other guy, Frost? I think. Weird flick.
Eraserhead was Lynch's first movie. And, yeah, weird, but I don't think it deserves to be on this list, necessarily.
Don't get me wrong I like david Lynch Movies Blue Velvet was way weird cool, and Twin Peaks was arite, maybe it was because I was a lil tyke when I saw it.
Death Race 2000,Plan 9 from Outer Space,Battle beyond the stars,Roger Corman's Fantastic Four..well anything by Roger Corman