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A letter to Larry Bird from a Cleveland Cavaliers fan

obeythedoberman
by obeythedoberman
43589
I could probably beat your entire team by myself.

Dear Mr. Bird (and Donnie Walsh),

Your team is pathetic. Please watch LeBron James closely tonight so you can better understand what it's like to have a superstar play on an NBA team. Then, after the Cavaliers beat you, go into the locker room and speak with LeBron James so you can learn what an NBA superstar/role model is all about. After you've completed these tasks please take a moment to look at your current roster. Take a close look at your "superstar" Jermaine O'Neal who will most likely not be playing because he's done with you and your team and this city. Remember when you could've traded him for Andrew Bynum and Lamar Odom? Those were the days. Take a look at Jamaal Tinsley and Marquis Daniels. Two very respectable young men who have gotten into more trouble over the past two years than Ron Artest. Take a look at the men you received as compensation for Al Harrington and Stephen Jackson. Dunleavy, Murphy and Ike Diogu all seem like really nice guys...

Here are my suggestions:

Keep Jeff Foster, Danny Granger and Shawne Williams. In today's market Foster is a steal for 5.5 mil and Granger and Williams may be the future (and both are cheap, for now, but will need to be resigned).

Trade Jermaine O'Neal for Vince Carter. Allegedly the Nets are dumb enough to be interested in this deal. This will actually give you a bona fide superstar. The type of player who will put people in the currently half empty arean. Kind of like when you had the chance to get Allen Iverson for a donut and a cup of coffee but failed.

If anyone not mentioned above has an expiring contract get rid of them. Cut ties. They all suck.

For those with expiring contracts in 2009 keep them for one more year because this is not an overnight fix and one more year won't make a difference. That is, unless you can actually trade them to get something of value (which you obviously know nothing about).

Do something about Jamaal Tinsley. Get rid of him! I'm a better point guard (i'm also better than Travis Diener). The nice man from Croatia or Serbia or Yugslavia that you traded away, Sarunas Yesakdjlkejfkjclelejekjkc, was ten times the point guard Tinsley is. That was very intelligent.

Find a way to move up to the top 3 in the draft and get Eric Gordon.

Start 2008-2009 with the following roster:

PG - Eric Gordon or someone, anyone available in free agency
SG - Vince Carter SF - Danny Granger PF - off-season pickup or trade C - Jeff Foster

bench for 2009: Shawne Williams, Dunleavy, Murphy, assorted minor league players

YOU CAN DO THIS! Get creative! Make it happen! I'm sure you can trade Dunleavy and Murphy to the Clippers for something. As long as daddy Dunleavy is there he'll take his kid and probably give you Elton Brand in return for the great white hopes. It's the NBA. Someone is dumb enough to trade for Tinsley and Daniels. I realize you have to match salaries but take on whatever expiring contracts you need to!

Bottom line is your team blows and they blow hard and there is no hope in sight. No one goes to your games anymore and the product you own is obsolete. Do something about it or go away. Oh and while you're at it, how about a real coach and not someone who's gone from team to team and been fired everywhere he's been. Good luck. You need it. GO CAVS!

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indyclone

If Sarunas was a better point guard why can't he even find a backup job in the NBA?

The Cavs won the lottery of a lifetime and got the right to take Lebron... not very good management, just pure luck.

I'd be all for taking Gordon in the draft.

Your trade scenarios and perception of past trade scenarios are pretty much all wrong.

The Lakers would NOT trade Bynum... the Pacers wanted him, and if the deal would have included Bynum, Jermaine would be a Laker. Dunleavey Sr. is not the GM of the Clippers... that ridiculous deal not gonna happen... salaries don't even match.

The Cavs can get by on Lebron and a bucket of snot... but won't ever win a championship... just not a very well run team... just lucky to have Lebron.

indyclone on Feb 20, '08 at 12:04 PM
obeythedoberman

i removed my comment because it was mean.

obeythedoberman on Feb 20, '08 at 01:03 PM
obeythedoberman

by the way, did you say the Cavs will never win a championship because they're not a very well run team? lay off the drugs Jimmy. your team traded away 2 of your best 3 players for Dunleavy, Murphy and Ike Diogu. that's just top notch management.

obeythedoberman on Feb 20, '08 at 01:10 PM
indyclone

I'm still laughing about your Sarunas comments... yeah, he's so good that no NBA team will offer him a roster spot. You clearly lack very much knowledge of the NBA.

Dunleavey is playing better than Jack and Al have been... but you're right... the Pacers should trade him for Tim Duncan.... LMAO!

indyclone on Feb 20, '08 at 01:24 PM
obeythedoberman

now it's back on. are you that retarded that you don't think Sarunas Jackdjfoefje is a better NBA point guard than Jamaal Tinsley? seriously. come on guy. and if you're too stupid to read that i said Dunleavy and Murphy should be traded together and their salaries equal that of Elton Brand then I cannot help you. by the way, Dunleavy and Sterling make the decisions for the Clippers. i don't care that Baylor is the GM. additionally, if you cannot sense sarcasm when I wrote of this trade then you're beyond help. and if you're over the age of 14 and using internet lingo like LMAO then you're a dork.

obeythedoberman on Feb 20, '08 at 01:32 PM
obeythedoberman

and for the record genius, Sarunas asked for his release from Golden State on September 20, 2007 in order to sign the biggest contract of all-time in the Greek pro league. you think that's funny? he's making $4 million/year but yeah, he sucks and can't get a contract with an NBA squad.

obeythedoberman on Feb 20, '08 at 01:38 PM
indyclone

he asked for his release because he couldn't get into a game, and no NBA team would offer him a starting job, or even a job where he'd get to play in every game.

oooh, 4 mil a year to play in Greece... what a success

and nice backtrack... calling your idiotic trade proposal "sarcastic", yeah right!

and anybody who uses the word "lingo" must be pretty old.

indyclone on Feb 20, '08 at 02:37 PM
DmAc

Fellas...............we are talking NBA right? When did the season even start, I must have missed it. Maybe we should get Laura99in in on this heated discussion. I bet she has some killer NBA knowledge????

Pacers = Blue and Yellow Cavs = Red and White

DmAc on Feb 20, '08 at 02:44 PM
joe.shearer

Fellas, fellas. Goodness. Such hostility.

I do agree with indyclone that Sarunas J. was an NBA bust. He is big time overseas, but in Indy he did nothing. His style of play did not fit the NBA style, apparently. He was really a shooting guard in a point guard's body. Larry Bird was all over him for several years to come here to play, then summarily ran him out of town as a throw-in. Whether he's better than Tinsley is up for debate, but Jamaal has lasted longer in the league than Saras.

And the Pacers were on the steep decline before the Golden State trade, between the fan ambivalence after all of the legal issues and the Artest situation. Really how much better shape would they be in if Jack and Al were still here? They'd still be struggling and the chemistry would still be zero.

And while Saras may have asked for his release from Golden State, he did so because he knew there all he was doing was collecting splinters in his behind surfing the pine.

But I wonder what Herr Doberman may have to say when/if LeBron bolts for Gotham when his contract is up (as has been widely rumored)? I guess enjoy it while you can.

joe.shearer on Feb 20, '08 at 02:44 PM
randydaytona

Sarunas Jasikevicius was trash. He isn't half the point guard Jamaal Tinsley is. JT's problems are injuries, not lack of skills. Joe is right about Sarunas he just never fit the style of play in the NBA.

We may be slightly better if we had Jack and Al over Dunleavy but Dunleavy is playing the best basketball of his career and we'd have to hear fans constantly bitch and moan about Jack. I'm happy with the trade now. I just don't get why Ike isn't getting to play much.

randydaytona on Feb 20, '08 at 02:51 PM
obeythedoberman
indyclone wrote:
he asked for his release because he couldn't get into a game, and no NBA ...

since you're new i will let it go or should i say IWLIG but bro, you're 34. 34 year olds don't use acronyms like that online. leave it to your children. and if you did know me on this site you'd know i'm a sarcastic prick so my Dunleavy thing was a joke but you just don't get it. teams trade players for salary reasons and expiring contracts these days not because of who is better than who. if you followed teams outside of Indiana you'd know that the Lakers got Pau Gasol for a rookie making $1 mil a year and a worthless player who's contract expires after this year. not knowing the NBA you again didn't realize that Golden State took Sarunas as part of the deal even though they already had Baron Davis and Monta Ellis because his contract was expiring and the salaries matched. you can keep talking smack because it's laughable. do your research and come back with an intelligent and witty comment. IMO you're a TOOL.

and randydaytona, COME ON! dude, Jamaal Tinsley is HORRIBLE! he's horrible bro. did you know that Jamaal was a street baller from NYC? did you know that his game has never translated well in the NBA. the guy is just not good. Sarunas was dominating international play and never got the chance to prove himself here because he was on the PACERS!

Joe, you and I both know that there's no chance in hell that LeBron will ever leave Cleveland, let alone go to New York. There was a small chance that Kobe would've done that but unlike the Jermaine O'Neal's of the world, LeBron has class. And it ain't about the money because when you're making $100 mil a year it doesn't really matter.

obeythedoberman on Feb 20, '08 at 03:21 PM
randydaytona

obeythedoberman - Yes, I know all that. I know everything there is to know about Mel Mel the Abuser.

Yes there is a chance in hell Lebron goes to NY. It's been talked about a long time. It's not the Knicks though, it'd be if the Nets move to Brooklyn like they are supposed to. The NBA wants their superstars in the big cities and the players have better opportunities for endorsements and all that. Lebron will definitely not be in Cleveland his entire career.

randydaytona on Feb 20, '08 at 03:25 PM
IndyCustomCornhole

I doubt that Larry needs to speak with Lebron to "learn what an NBA superstar/role model is all about". He was a superstar himself.

Great on the court does not mean great in the front office, but don't act like he hasn't been trying. When you have to unload a couple of idiots (Artest and Jax) at 60% of their value to save face with the "fans" you put yourself in a hell of a deep hole.

The "fans" show they appreciated it by having the lowest attendance in the league. I suppose they should have kept the thugs. Winning with bad guys is better than losing with good character guys I guess.

Maybe Lebron will have some advice for Larry on how to make a superstar out of the guys we have. Or how to trade for a one dimensional former superstar like Vince Carter.

Easy to GM from the couch and bash on the team while they are down.

IndyCustomCornhole on Feb 20, '08 at 03:36 PM
obeythedoberman

there is no way we can bet on this but if there was i would guarantee you he's a Cav for life (or at least til he gets like Dominique and is too old to contribute but name recognition still gets him a contract with the Clippers). your LeBron to the Brooklyn Nets is actually plausible because of his friendship with Jay-Z but it will never happen. LeBron to the Bulls, LeBron to the Knicks, LeBron to every major city has been talked about forever! here's what you forget though, the NBA sucks. Do you really think LeBron and Kobe (the two biggest stars on the planet) are really selling shoes? Barely. Kobe's shoe sales aren't even a blip. The NBA is refocusing its efforts on teams because since MJ the general population is not connecting with the players. It's a fact. David Stern is pissed about the fact that the Sonics are going to leave Seattle. You think it's because Seattle is a mecca of entertainment? No. It's about the team and the community and that's the 2008 and beyond focus of the league because most of the players are hoodlums i.e. Tinsley, Marquis, Stephen Jackson, etc., etc. or maybe i'm completely full of it and should just root for the Pacers. by the way, Sarunas is my third cousin so back off!

obeythedoberman on Feb 20, '08 at 03:38 PM
randydaytona

Oh yeah well Jamaal Tinsley is my sister's best friend's ex-boyfriend's best friend from HS.

randydaytona on Feb 20, '08 at 03:42 PM
IndyCustomCornhole

I am Lebron's father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.

or

I knew it! I'm surrounded by A-holes! Keep firing, A-holes!

Take your pick.

IndyCustomCornhole on Feb 20, '08 at 03:49 PM
indyclone

You're right, Sarunas was a throw in on that deal, to make salaries add up... Dude was a throw in... but you think he should be starting in the NBA?

Memphis got the right to Pau Gasol's brother Marc, AND 2 first round draft picks... quite a bit more than you seem to think.

Perhaps some research on your part is in order.

indyclone on Feb 20, '08 at 03:51 PM
obeythedoberman
IndyCustomCornhole wrote:
I doubt that Larry needs to speak with Lebron to "learn what an NBA superstar/role ...

Vince Carter is one dimensional? doesn't that make Jermaine O'Neal zero dimensional?

obeythedoberman on Feb 20, '08 at 04:30 PM
obeythedoberman
IndyCustomCornhole wrote:
I doubt that Larry needs to speak with Lebron to "learn what an NBA superstar/role ...

WAS being the key word. different time, different players, all around different game. i personally think Bird was an excellent coach and should've stuck with it but the game has passed him by. i feel bad for Pacers fans and i feel that all the blame should be shouldered by Bird and Walsh. there was no backup plan for Reggie Miller's impending retirement. every franchise needs a face and the Pacers don't have one and won't for years to come unless they make some moves which they've proven they cannot do.

obeythedoberman on Feb 20, '08 at 04:33 PM
obeythedoberman
indyclone wrote:
You're right, Sarunas was a throw in on that deal, to make salaries add up... ...

i know dude. i knew about the picks and his brother. 2 first round picks in the upper 20's and dude's brother isn't really worth mentioning is it? pretty sure that's why every GM in the league is up in arms about this trade being allowed. cuz da Lakers STOLE from da Grizzlies.

obeythedoberman on Feb 20, '08 at 04:37 PM
IndyCustomCornhole
obeythedoberman wrote:
Vince Carter is one dimensional? doesn't that make Jermaine O'Neal zero dimensional?

At least JO plays defense. Vince scores, that's it. Not much of a passer nor rebounder and he is past his prime. He couldn't turn this team around anymore than JO could. He would put butts in seats for a month or so but without wins, people aren't coming out.

To each his own. There are disagreements that will never be resolved in this thread. How about a new topic to beat into the ground?

IndyCustomCornhole on Feb 20, '08 at 04:47 PM
obeythedoberman

i'll be sitting row 3 behind the Pacers bench tonight. i'll be the guy with the Cavaliers vintage t. look for Jermaine O'Neal to be sitting next to me.

obeythedoberman on Feb 20, '08 at 05:15 PM
obeythedoberman

bump for Sarunas Jasikevicius not being as good as Travis Diener and Marquis Daniels. those guys are awesome!

obeythedoberman on Feb 21, '08 at 08:47 AM
obeythedoberman

bump for Sarunas Jasikevicius' name being dropped in a SportsCenter commercial!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDWFReGs2aw

obeythedoberman on Feb 23, '08 at 06:32 PM
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