Today:
Posted: Oct 16, 2007 in Music, TV and Celebrities
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Sting has been stung by Blender magazine, which slapped him with the title of worst pop lyricist of all time for his "mountainous pomposity, cloying spirituality [and] ham-handed metaphors," reports Page Six. The round-up also lambasted Sean "Diddy" Combs ("hip-hop corniness"); Timbaland ("even worse than Diddy"); Kiss' Paul Stanley ("schoolboy [bleep]-boasting"); and Creed's Scott Stapp ("pious bombast").
Da-doo-doo-doo, da-doo-dah-dah
If you love somebody...if you love...someone...set them free...free free, set them free.
Come on, that there's solid gold. And it's original to boot.
I do agree with blasting those other guys on a regular basis as well, especially Scott Stapp. I remember seeing Creed try to sing the national anthem once (I think at a baseball game). There are no words that can adequately describe how horribly wretched they were.
Just when no one was paying attention to Sting, BOOM! more attention.
The Police were not really about lyrics anyway. Synchronicity was pretty much their lyrical peak. But the sound of a song like "Wrapped Around Your Finger" or "King of Pain" is enough to evoke quite a bit. I dunno. I love The Police but mostly I think Sting's solo stuff is wanktacular.
I saw that Oasis made the list, with barbs reserved for "Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball" from "Champagne Supernova."
I say that line is genius within the trippy context of that song -- so wrong that it's right.
I always kind of thought the blueprint for pop lyrics was to be as paper thin as possible so people don't have to think about what the words they're hearing.
Anyone remember LFO, and I quote, "I like girls who wear Abercrombie and Fitch, chinese food makes me sick."
Yes, Blender, the hallmark of musical critique...
While they definitely have a point in re: Creedy and Diddy, why trash the one on the list who actually may have read a book, let alone know how to play the lute? While I agree Sting's solo ventures post - Blue Turtles has been crappy at best (don't even get me started on his duet with a former P----cat Doll), putting Sting in the same category as a no-talent lyrically handicapped clown shoe like Sean Combs is a waste of an opportunity to shell someone else... like Bryan Adams, or Dave Matthews, or those dudes from Wang Chung.
Haha, this site edited P----cat Dolls.
Open the door! Get on the floor! Everyone wallk the dinosaur! Boom! Boom! Shakka lakka lakka boom!
Sting's "if you love somebody, set them free" is straight off a cheesy inspirational plaque, but he used to work in a few literary references: Scylla and Charybdis and "that book by Nabokov," literary enough at least for the teenager I was when Zenyatta Mondatta came out. The cheesiness of the line "if you love somebody set them free" is topped by the Stones' "we're stuck between a rock and a hard place."
I have to say that I've always really loved the Police, mainly their first two albums. But Sting's solo stuff kind of sucks. Ok, really sucks. I especially started hating him after he did that hideous song for that hideous movie The Three Musketeers, All for One and All for Love. Not only does it have one of the worst song titles EVER but he was singing with Bryan Adams and Rod Stewart (Jenny, I know you love Rod but by this time he was waaay past his prime).
Plus, he lives in a castle where he sits by the fireside and plays his lute -- probably while wearing a monocle, red velvet smoking jacket and cravat. I mean I know he has more kids than Methuselah but, a castle? He's royalty now?
He, quite simply, is a huge sellout. But at least he's environmentally conscious. That's something.
If you love somebody...if you love...someone...set them free...free free, set them free. Come on, that ...
Ugh. Creed. My brother was into them for a while until he realized how utterly and cheesily untalented they are. I suppose to some their lyrics are inspirational ... it does inspire me to listen to good music.
While they definitely have a point in re: Creedy and Diddy, why trash the one ...
That is the best description of Sean Combs I've ever read. I'm still mad at Jimmy Page for letting him steal his riff from Kashmir. It wouldn't be so bad if he hadn't performed it with him.
Always been a favorite of mine:
"can you pay my bills can you pay my telephone bills can you pay my automo'bills then maybe we can chill"
Destiny's Child, Bills, Bills, Bills.
All I can say is, what is an automo'bill?
Always been a favorite of mine: "can you pay my bills can you pay my ...
Car payments! Duh! Really though, that's pretty bad.
Here's the link to the Blender article if you want to check it out.
Genesis: I can't dance, I can't talk Only thing about me is the way I walk I can't dance, I can't sing I'm just standing here selling everything.
kevin cronin of reo speedwagon has to be the worst. sammy hagar gets honorable mention.
ps- even jesus hates creed.
Lyricist, really? In pop music, really? When the average american reads at the sixth grade level, records company's lean more toward marketability when signing a new artist, and radio station's focus group new music, and again I say lyricists, really? Talent is a thing of the past and good music is hard to come by, thank capitalism for that!?
And the Grammy goes to . . . capitalism . . . for producing a myriad of thoughtless music . . . a round of applause! Imagine . . ."Capitalism could not be here tonight, but thanks you (the general public) for your continued support" WOW!
Since Capitalism involves free choice, and free choice is what leads to record sales, which lead to popularity... I don't see how it's a bad thing at all. I see even less, how it means that people are stupid..
"pop" just means popular... sometimes people like music that just makes them feel good, it doesn't have to be the greatest message.
personally, I can't think of any good communist songs...
I was surprised to see Jim Morrison on there.
While, I've never been the biggest Doors fan... their biggest hit is the one I really can't stand... wasn't even written by Morrison... IMO, he is one of the great poets/lyricists of the generation.
Jim Morrison penned some of the most putrid lyrics of the modern era. He was a bloated, self-important buffoon at best.
After reading the article, it seems to be more of an indictment against arrogance than a review of lyricists bodies of work.
I'm not a big fan of the Lizard King myself. I can listen to most things without switching the dial, but the doors are the exception.
No one can compare to Ice Cube. In "You Can't Fade Me," he rhymed "turkey" and "Albequerque." Take that, Sting!
ICE CUBE? C'mon, pretty much everything that dude touched through "Friday" was gold.
And the Grammy goes to . . . capitalism . . . for producing a ...
What economic/social structure would produce "better" music?
Please. Sting the worst lyricist? That's inflammatory garbage for the point of selling magazines. Here's my take:
First, most music magazines are GARBAGE. They're written by 25 year-olds who wear Che Guevara t-shirts, think pot should be sold at grocery stores, and probably get paid too much to be thinking at all.
I would strongly disagree with the idea that Sting is one of the worst lyricists. You have a plethora of horrendous music out there, but the people at the top of the music scene/icons (Sting) are always going to get picked on in order to make waves. If they wrote that Nickelback and Hinder were the worst (which may be accurate), nobody would pay any attention. Spin called Coldplay the 'most intolerable band of the decade' last year. I like Coldplay, but even if I didn't, are they really the most intolerable of the decade? How about bands like Korn and Limp Bizkit? They don't qualify for that title?
I've heard/read time and time again that many of the best musicians (session and otherwise), consider Sting one of the best writers around- ever. I personally think that, but obviously all art is subjective and it's whatever speaks to you as the listener.
It's like when Rolling Stone came out w/ their 100 greatest guitarists recently. Keith Richards was like at #5! He is a horrible guitar player! But he's Keith Richards of the Stones and he has his own very popular sound. So I guess it's how you are defining "greatest" or "worst" on these lists. If I was on any list with Paul Mccartney, whom Spin also decided was a terrible lyricist, I think I'd be happy.
You can always go through someone's body of work and find what you might consider to be bad writing, corny writing etc., or just bad noise. (i.e. Radiohead Amnesiac?) Sting is no exeption. I love the Police and Sting, granted. But everybody has bad songs.
I have said often that, in the last 5+ years of so, Sting has 'gone downhill' in general. I could name quite a few Sting songs that I think are just awful. His last pop album (Sacred Love) was really 'reaching', as far as I'm concerned. And "Songs from the Labrinth"- I don't really know where to begin on that. When Sting did that album, it reminded me of how Billy Joel started composing classical music. If that's what they want to explore as artists- that's great. But don't try and sell it to the public.
But all that being said, in general Sting is a musical genius in his ability to write, play and perform so many musical styles the way he does. (fusing pure jazz, reggae, new wave and pop into his sound...)
As far as Creed is concerned, my dear lord. I believe that they, along with Nickelback, should be incarcerated for ear genocide and crimes against humanity.
Ugh. Creed. My brother was into them for a while until he realized how utterly ...
It inspires me to hunt down and destroy all Creed cd's
Jim Morrison penned some of the most putrid lyrics of the modern era. He was ...
yeah, but that chick who got naked with Val Kilmer in the movie was hot!
personally, I can't think of any good communist songs...
Digable Planets wrote some -- remember them? What about Gang of Four (Marxist)? The NY Dolls had an ersatz Communist period. And the most popular music in China was, for quite some time, karaoke. Everyone loves karaoke!
Two words: 'Hanson: MmmBop' ... yeah, you know you ALL dug it.
Two words: 'Hanson: MmmBop' ... yeah, you know you ALL dug it.
Well, getting back to bad song lyrics how about 'Inagoddadiva" by Iron Butterfly, a psychodelic group from the 60's. I understand the story is that the group was pretty stoned on acid, the song was suppose to be called "In the Garden of Eden".
If Fergie or Gwen Stefani ever made a CD together, I bet it would put a major rift in the space/time continuim.
Any song can be subjectively looked at and criticised for containing the best or worst lyrics. It's really up to what the individual listener gets out of those lyrics and factored on the listener's taste expectation. I give a pass to any lyricist that wrote songs while on drugs, because the words are meant for mental thought landscapes and open interpretations. One of my favorite simple druggy lyricists of all time has to be Syd Barrett of early Pink Floyd. I also like songs that you really can't understand the words but the singing is melodious like My Bloody Valentine. I don't think either of these bands would win poetry contests, but I like them as if they did.
I present to you "Burrito" by Pete Yorn:
It's a 7-11
Do you wanna take a walk outside
If you want a burrito
You can have another bite of mine
It could last you forever
If you're not waiting for the call
Come on over tonight
Come on over this morning
Momma says, "You only fall in love once."
And you could leave here tomorrow
You know you wanted to have more
They were looking for answers
And if you never had them score
Yeah, it could last you forever
Just sit here in the store
Come on over tonight
Come on over this morning
Momma says, "You only fall in love once."
And you think you know that they'll always be there
You never had the time
I want you to be fine It's a 7-11
Do you want to take a walk outside
If you want a burrito
You can have another bite of mine
It could last you forever
If you're still waiting on that call
Come on over tonight
Come on over this morning
Momma says, "You only fall in love once."
To The Tick Tock Ya Don't Stop, To The Tick Top Ya Don't Stop
Come inside take off your coat, ill make you feel at home Now lets pour a glass of wine coz now we're all alone, I've been waiting all nite so just let me hold you close to me Coz i've been dieing for you girl to make love to me
Girl you make me feel real good, We can do it till we both wake up Girl you know im hooked on you and this is what i'll do,
(I wanna love you down) I wanna sex you up, All nite, (you make me feel good) I want (to rub you down) I wanna sex you up,
Let me take off all your clothes. Disconnect the phone so nobody knows. Let me light a candle, So that we can make it better. Makin' love until we drown.
Girl, you know it feels real good. We can do it 'til we both wake up. Girlyou know I'm hooked on you. And this is what I'll do.
Make sweet lovin' all night long... (I wanna sex you up) Feels so right it can't be wrong... Don't be shy girl rescue me... (i wanna sex you up) Open up your heart and I'll set you free...
anything by CREED..........."SCOTT STAPP'S IN THE BARRRRR...."hehe....