If more personal ads read like this I'd be half tempted to respond:

"I vacillate wildly between a number of archetypes including, but not limited to, Muriel Spark witticism-trading doyenne, Mariella Frostrup charismatic socialite, brooding, intense Marianne Faithful visionary, and kleptomaniac Germaine Greer amateur upholsterer and ladies' league darts champion. Woman, 43. Everything I just said was a lie. Apart from the bit about darts. And kleptomania. Great tits though. box no. 01/02. "

The London Review of Books' Web site hosts the most fantastic Personals section that I've had the pleasure of perusing. They're choc-full of dark wit and self-deprecating humor. Guaranteed to cheer up your worst day. Promise.

Don't believe me? Check 'em out for yourself. There's a whole new batch of them just posted here