I want to start out by saying the following is truly NOT in anger. I am simply asking why certain things happen. Maybe some of you can relate to my words below. I am not accusing and claim no perfection of my own actions. I have made many great mistakes in my time on this earth. What I want now is to learn from them and make every day forward something wonderful to look to.

This is my search for truth, love, and happiness.

Truth. What has happened to it and where did it go? It seems to be a common habit in this day to keep everything in a vault of secrecy. This simple little "truth" is finding it's way into the museum of natural history as a thing of the past. Adult relationships are as a result, disappearing themselves as well. Each relationship I have taken on has slowly stepped it's way back into a high school drama. Some of my major mistakes have kept me in this cell of shame shame shame on me. But when mistakes of similar nature are made by those you cherish most, somehow you get blamed. I try to remember to apologize for my mistakes as I expect others to do as well. I call this courtesy. So...this fading truth is something I am searching for. Does it exist? Is there anyone out there that will talk to me as lover, best friend and companion? Or is everyone living dual lives as "I love you, need you, want no one but you", and at the same time justifying the reasons for being with someone else when you both should save that precious moment for each other? This is where you, meaning me, feels taken advantage of, not appreciated and not seen or heard. When did it become ok to love one person and make love to another? Is there true love left? Is there romance? Am I the only man left in this world who truly wants an honest, loving, commited and romantic life with one person? I feel as though I am a dying breed. I am romantic at heart to the fullest extent. Every movie, every song and story speaks of how rare and special this type of character is. So how is it that I put myself full-heartedly into a life with someone and be told that my romantic nature is not needed? This is who I am. I really believe that being that way is a good thing. I love cards, flowers, sweet gestures, and all kinds of affection. Whats wrong with that? Is there anything wrong with that?

How can promises be made and not kept? How can two people hold a relationship when truth can't be found between them? Why are people like this? Why do these things happen? Is there any love or truth left in this world?

I wear my heart on my sleeve and pay for it daily. A very expensive character trait I must add! I do not say these words for pitty, my own justification or to simply "bitch". There are so many grey areas in love today. One that needs never to be said again is the old, "We aren't REALLY together, we are just talking." "We broke up in that fight last night. So it wasn't cheating when I got with someone else". And the great myspace cake topper.... "single" listed on peoples profiles, when they are with someone. OH WAIT! How about the classic website, MANHUNT. How is it that you can love someone, be with them as a couple, and have a profile like that? It seems to me that having a profile like that while with someone definately says you aren't happy and you are still looking. I find it very important to let people know that I have found someone. Why aren't more people PROUD to say, "Hey, I am with someone and love them with all my heart. I am not interested." If someone tells you they want to be with you, aren't we all responsible for showing it to them and the world? What has happened to men.... to people.... to love? And why are those of us staying in unappreciated relationships?

It is said that distance makes the heart grow fonder. Ask yourself, do you believe this? Or does distance open up the "ok" for whatever? Does whatever happens away from your loved one, stay away from your loved one? Should you tell everything you know your partner would want to know? Are there things better left unsaid? Where should the line be drawn? Is it possible to have a partner in life that you could truly talk to like a best friend? I tell my best friend just about everything that ever happens. Is that sort of honesty only available as just friends? Then what is a "LOVER"? br> I watch and listen to couples talk. I sit with others listening to their stories. What I have found increasingly common is how much they don't tell their lover, but tell their friends. The friends get the dirty secrets while the lover goes blindly along loving that person. I grew up thinking that your lover was supposed to be your best friend. There was no one else in the world that you could say more to, do more with, and count on more. Imagine this...... your best friend...... you love him. You can say anything to. Nothing is secret. You don't judge each other. You only love each other. You try to always bring each others spirits up. You encourage each other. You support each other and are always there for each other. You also share a home together and make love. You are proud to say, "this is my man. No one EVER try to destroy us. We are and always will be a team."

FINAL THOUGHT:

So as I finish this small book of truth in love, I ask you one more time..... is any of this hope I have left in real love actually.... REAL? Please think about this. There has to be some reform in this very important part of our human lives.

GO OUT RIGHT NOW and buy your loved one some flowers. MAKE A CARD with your own thoughts and feelings. WRITE a poem for him. SING him a song. TELL him how much he means to you. GO WITH HIM every time he needs you there. MAKE WHATS IMPORTANT TO HIM, important to you. DON'T EVER LEAVE HIM STANDING THERE as you take off with someone else. DON'T EVER CHOOSE SOMEONE ELSE over him. NEVER EVER HIT HIM. NEVER FORGET your anniversary or his birthday. MAKE EVERY HOLIDAY thoughtful in some way. MAKE LOVE on a regular basis. I am sure you can find time. NEVER FORGET to kiss him before you leave. ALWAY SAY I love before you hang up the phone. BE THOUGHTFUL always. BE SENSITIVE TO HIS NEEDS, there are others out there that will if you don't. LISTEN TO HIM when he wants to tell you something, it may be something he wants your advice on. TAKE PICTURES OF HIM, you never know how long a person will be on this earth. HELP OUT in every way you can, he works hard too. NEVER SAY those things you can't take back, cause words DO hurt. DON'T BE MEAN to him. TREAT HIM as if this was your last day together on earth.

Now..... THAT is how to be romantic.