God save us from "Churchianity"

OK, so I broke down and purchased some "conservative" threads. I admit it. In the margins, I'm thinking how long might I have to do that, in order to nab a job and get to return to ME-wear? Ugh. It almost touches on high school trying to be like everyone else in order to get off of the WHATAFREAKWHODRESSEDTHATGIRLSHEISSUCHAREJECT!!! list.... except that maybe it's not such a big deal anymore, coz I've figured out who I AM, and that those idiots' opinions matter less than toe jam. Yep, I think that's part of it. I am fairly desperate for a jobby-job, but only in my "field". It's not like Human Services is an area where your appearance is going to land you a job that actually pays in real-live MONEY or something.... :o] Anyway, I spoke today to a nice member of the Board for the IN chapter of ICAADA, and that went hopefully well. My decision to attempt to find meaning in my career choice was of course "poo-poo"-ed by some. (But don't you want to be able to have nice things? To vacation, etc., etc.,? Actually, you know that's never been a real motivator to me...) Reckon why my first and longest amour was a brooding musician who could easily have been blown away by a good sneeze, and that, before the "heroin chic" look? Because without depth, life has no meaning.

Funny, in the grand scheme of things, my tiny spot on the eternal timeline won't even measure to be much more than a piece of dust, but I burn for it to be at least a piece of dust that MATTERED. Like someone I heard saying that when their time came to face the Creator, that they wanted to come sliding in, as if they were making the last home run of the last game of a treturous season, full-on, with sweat and blood pumping, dust and dirt flying, and completely spent. I want to run through the tape at the end of the race with just the last bits of air left in my lungs, from the effort and determination used to finally get there. So, yeah, I am prepared to give the rest of my life helping the "unlovelies". Who better, than one of their own? Ironic that nowadays I hardly resemble the person I was, when I was on the receiving end of the helping hand. Then the Lord lifted me up out of the pit and placed my feet on a firm foundation...(Ps 40)

Annnyyyywhooooo. Greetings to anyone who happened across my ramblings, tonight. I love the weather of late, but I must admit that the grey-ness is beginning to get to me. I know that things are beginning to get better, even today, and I hope your days will be included in that betterness.

Drop me a note if this makes sense to you. Or if you know of anyone who wants to hire an addictions counselor. :o)

blessings abbie