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Movie "laws"
Posted: Nov 28, 2007 in Things to do, Movies
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Roger Ebert has one of those lists of Hollywood cliches that he forms into a list of "movie rules" (he calls it the movie glossary-http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/section?category=GLOSSARY). They are often genre-specific, but there are rules in each genre.
For instance, in an action or horror movie, apparently no one has heard of "stop, drop, and roll," since everyone who catches on fire invariably will run around frantically until collapsing and dying.
Action movies have plenty of these: action movie villains are terrible shots. No matter how many machine guns they have blasting at the good guy, the hero and his revolver will always overmatch them.
Take a look at Ebert's list if you'd like, and try to come up with your own. Share, please!
The Telephone Rule: Never Say 'hello' when you answer; never say 'goodbye' when you hang up!
There's also one the Ebert has about the number of times a phone will ring in a movie. If it's necessary to the plot for the phone to ring a lot, it'll ring forever, but if the purpose is for a character to leave a message, it'll only ring once or twice.
Here's a better, more complete list. Go figure Ebert's site won't have a comprehensive list of his rules.
I just realized that list is different than the one I'd seen in the past. Here's another archive.
http://academic.sun.ac.za/forlang/bergman/tech/glossary/ebert_glos.htm
A couple more: In any movie where someone is being chased, if they reach their car they will 1) drop their keys as they try to unlock it, and 2) the car will not start immediately, but rather just as the killer/bad guy is reaching them.
Also, if someone needs a car that is not theirs in an emergency, the keys will either be in the ignition or in the sun visor.
Another (though I think it's actually Ebert's): in a disaster picture, though humans are slaughtered en masse, the dog always survives. This is a cheer-worthy moment (see "Independence Day").
Whenever anyone needs to park on a busy city street, there's always a space open directly in front of wherever they're going. You'll never see the hero drive around the block looking for a space, park far away and then have to walk to the restaurant or whatever.