MOVIE CONCESSIONS & STORMING FRANKENSTEIN'S CASTLE

As much as I love going to movies, there is no question that the experience has been measurably cheapened over the years, and I am certainly not referring to ticket prices. While there are various reasons why overall movie attendance has noticeably fallen across the nation, the industry has no one to blame but itself.

For example, in 1947, with a population of nearly 150 million, American movie theaters sold 100 million tickets a week. In 2005, with a population of more than 270 million, 25 million tickets were sold a week. What gives?

Quite frankly, I find a metaphor for this cinematic malaise to be the first day that commercials were allowed into the movie theater. Most of you probably can't recall going to a movie where you weren't bombarded with multiple advertisements before the previews began, but I do. I was appalled the first time I was subjected to this type of corporate greed, and I remain no less so today.

For most moviegoers, the movie theater provides a type of sanctuary. It is a place where you can escape from the outside world and joyfully suspend reality. While commercials had long ago become an accepted staple of television, I naively never suspected that this poisonous crass commercialism would be permitted into the theater.

But while I was once again dead wrong, I resent it every time I buy a ticket. I hate those Fandango Muppets, particularly when they are dancing with those idiotic Bollywood Actresses. I want to hurl something at the screen every time I see Coca Cola purportedly rewarding some young filmmaker for making a short movie that simply promotes its own product. I want to scream every time I have to watch a National Guard promotion which surreptitiously tries to lure young people into the Iraqi debacle while making it look like a family trip to Disney World.

How far away are we from the time when films are interrupted by commercials posing as some type of intermission? Should that day arrive, I'm picking up a torch and a pitchfork and leading whoever will follow me to storm Frankenstein's Castle!

And then there is the highway robbery known as concession prices. With all due respect, if you want to define corporate greed, go see a movie at any Regal Theater. What that chain charges for refreshments is astonishing, and they should be ashamed of themselves.

Three dollars and fifty-cents ($3.50) for a small bottled water? Is anyone else insulted when you order a small Diet Coke and find that you are not only charged over four dollars ($4.00), but Regal's definition of "small" was yesterdays "large?" And then they further slam you with the redundant admonition, "free refills." Good Lord, if you drank all of what you originally bought you would spend half of the movie in the bathroom!

Is it any wonder that many people, particularly with families, sneak refreshments into the theater? Why not pop your own popcorn at home, particularly when it is not only overpriced at the theater, but in most cases it is not even fresh? Why not sneak some soda in under your coat when the cost at the counter for you and a couple of kids is equivalent to one day's child care? Why do we let this continue?

Please understand that I am not against any theater making money on its concessions. Like anyone else in America, they are entitled to make a profit. But there is a clear difference between reasonable overhead and pure greed. That is the reason I will not patronize a Regal Theater unless given absolutely no other alternative.

Unfortunately, movie chains seem to be involved in a zero sum game as it relates to discouraging potential theatergoers. What could be more absurd for any company than engaging in a pricing policy that eliminates a large potential market? And yet that is exactly what theater chains are doing.

Think about it for a second. The largest potential market for most Hollywood films is the sixteen (16) to thirty (30) year old demographic. And yet their pricing policies discourage that market from attending, rather than the other way around. What could be more financially absurd? What ever happened to a little innovative thinking?

As an example, Keystone Art Cinema offers several films every Tuesday morning at 11:00 a.m. under the rubric "Rattle and Reel." Parents are encouraged to bring their infants to these movies for no additional charge. This is not just a wonderful marketing strategy, but also a public service. Obviously, those parents can now see independent films without both the need to obtain a sitter and the additional fear of alienating the audience.

Why isn't this done with other theaters? Good grief, most of them sit largely empty during the day anyway. Additionally, why don't all movie theaters offer students at least one-half price discounts by showing their Student ID? I think we all know many who would love to go to the theater but simply can't afford the full price.

Finally, given the fact that most of these the chains have multiple theaters that sit largely empty as noted above, why don't more of them bring in independent films? Think about the Circle Centre Cinema at the downtown mall. While that theater is suffering financially, are you trying to tell me that you could not breathe a little life into the entire operation by bringing in some independent films that otherwise might be seen only at the North Keystone Art Cinema? If downtown Indianapolis is the center of the Indy Art Scene, then why not show a few art movies? Given the obvious dwindling attendance, what have they got to lose?

So here are my suggestions. Instead of a policy designed to gouge the public, why not experiment with the following:

(1) Stop showing any type of advertisements before the movie; (2) Allow students in half price at designated times; (3) Designate a couple of your all but empty theaters to showing independent films and/or documentaries; (4) Have regular matinees where parents can bring infants at no extra costs; (5) Adopt the policy of the Georgetown Cinema (just north of 38th and Lafayette Road in the old Cub's store) and provide a small beverage and popcorn free with a regular paid admission.

Isn't it time that movie theaters start thinking outside the box concerning creative policies based on something other than the old "let's gouge the captive audience?" After all, if it doesn't work, they can always revert to what they are doing now. They have little to lose, and the public has a lot to gain.