Indy.com
Today:
Apparently I give off a gay vibe.
So, I'm sitting at the Alley Cat, minding my own business and watching the Lakers and Rockets game on the big screen. I'm not a basketball fan, but it was more interesting than the complacent freaks that surrounded me. Some girl covered in fake blood came up to me and said, "You look bored. Why are you not having fun?" I replied, "I'm content just kicking it where I'm at. What's with the bloody faces around here?" She explained that friends of hers were squirting fake blood on each other and offered to squirt some fake blood on me. I declined. She then said, "Are you gay?" My eyes widened with surprise and I answered back, "Do I look gay?" and she replied, "Yes. You give off a gay vibe." My mouth dropped opened in shock and dismay. I replied, "Honey, I think your gaydar is broken, because I'm hanging out at the frickin Alley Cat drinking a PBR, minding my own business and just because your fake blood is not attractive to me, doesn't make me gay." I downed my drink and went home only to listen to the Smiths while sobbing in my pillow. [/exaggerated memoir]
LOL...that's one of the best mistaken gaydentity stories I've heard in a long time!! When things like this happen to me, I always want a do-over because I can always think of a good comeback...30 minutes AFTER!!
Girl: Are you gay? You: No. Do I look gay? Girl: Yes. You give off a gay vibe. You: Oh. Are you stupid? Girl: No. Do I look stupid? You: (well...that's just too easy, isn't it?)
dude, aren't you the one who's been to not one, but TWO erasure shows?
"Honey, I think your gaydar is broken, because I'm hanging out at the frickin Alley Cat drinking a PBR, minding my own business and just because your fake blood is not attractive to me, doesn't make me gay."
Heh, heh.
A good argument could be made that in Indiana, being mistaken for a gay guy is a pretty big compliment.
I am not going to make that argument here, though.
:)
I get this all the time, but I'm usually sitting at the bar alone at English Ivy's. Also working the front desk at Invoke Yoga & Pilates didn't help much either.
"You're not, are you?," was what I heard almost every week when I worked the door at Bullwinkle's in Bloomington.
dude, aren't you the one who's been to not one, but TWO erasure shows?
Damn! I was young. It was the early 90s. I NEEDED THE MONEY! LEAVE SHIMMERCORE ALONE! BWAH BWAH [/sobs]
Erasure shows and The Smiths sounds slightly homoerotic to me,but don't listen to me, I'm just a guydressed like a Jedi standing next to a de-pantsed SpongeBob.
I may be way off base here, but starting off your very first sentence after being accused of being gay with "Honey" probably didn't help matters much. :) Haha...all in good fun though. I get the same reaction from time to time. I can't stand girls who are crying for attention (and getting a healthy dose anyway), and ignoring them makes their head implode. They can only reason that you don't like them because you only like dudes.
L M A OOOOOOO THat's so tragic it makes me want to weep! =) I love my not-gay, Smiths and Erasure-lovin', Brit Pop psycho Brother. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
"Honey, I think your gaydar is broken"...did that come with 2 snaps and an eye roll? lol
I'm gay and I've totally drank a PBR at the alley cat.
I get this all the time, but I'm usually sitting at the bar alone at ...
English Ivy's..... well duh. haha
HA! I exaggerated my story for comedy relief. Although I'm the straightest guy you'd ever hang out with, I love gay people. I've only been chatted up by a few gay guys in my life and I usually tell them my default response, "I like P----!"
What were you wearing? hmmmmm.....clothing can give off gay vibes....the pink shirt I bought for me will never look as sexy on a man:-) However, I would never be so bold as to ask a man...did you find that shirt in the Juniors/Misses dept at Macy's? Dead giveaway.......lol
Hmmm,... "I like P----!" .... penis?
HA ;D
the alley cat makes me want to stab my eyes out these days.
At one time I lived in that bar! I still swing in there on Sundays and Mondays when the children are at home and not tipping the bartenders with change.
On another note...While I love the Smiths and Morrissey...Sobbing on ones pillow while listening to the Smiths might put your sexuality on the chopping block.
I should know, I got caught making love to a man once while I was listening to Morrissey and showering in fake blood. I still can't live it down.
Disclaimer: Most 80% of this post was made up.
When in Rome...