Work & money: Why do we chicken out when we leave our jobs?
This is my last column for Indy.com magazine, which will change its name to Metromix on May 21.
So I thought it appropriate to write about things coming to a close. And because this is a column about work, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to address a question I’ve long pondered: Why do we chicken out when we leave our jobs?
I’ve meant to tell off several former bosses on my last day of work, and I chickened out every time.
I’m not alone, either. I asked friends and readers for stories of the most outrageous ways they had ever quit their jobs.
Their responses were disappointingly tame. Nobody had ever wrecked his or her cubicle like an amphetamine-fueled pop star. Nobody had threatened to beat anyone up in the parking lot.
If anything, everyone had actively avoided confrontation.
The only response that even hinted at face-to-face conflict was this one from Brian Brake, who wrote, “Ask me in a week or two.” And that just proves my point: We all talk a good game about quitting our jobs with F-you fanfare. But when push comes to shove, we put our tails between our legs and move along quietly — nothing to see here. Why?
For answers, I turned to Tim Mulherin, who has 20 years of experience in the field of work-place performance management, and now works as the client services manager for Irvington Community School. He believes people refrain from giving their soon-to-be-former bosses and co-workers the business out of simple self-interest.
“People don’t want to burn bridges,” he said. “By the time they’ve decided they’re out of there, they’ve worked through things emotionally, and have pretty much processed everything.”
So, for all our talk about going out with guns ablazin’, we tend to act sensibly and pragmatically, offering polite goodbyes to people we’d much rather kick in the eye. Which is smart, according to Mulherin. “It might feel good at the time, but it can be damaging to your career to walk in and treat someone the way you feel they deserve to be treated.”
The lesson? Doling out comeuppance to a crappy boss or an insufferable co-worker comes at a high price — a price that most of us are wise enough not to pay.
In fact, I just deleted the original closing paragraph of this column. Who knows; I may want to work for my bosses at Indy.com again someday.
work, Career, quitting jobs, leaving jobs, former bosses, conflict, self-interest
You could always go out like this guy (language NSFW)…
Drinky_McGee : RE: Work & money: Why do we chicken out when we leave our jobs? More..
Warning: the following story is gross.
I once worked for a racist douchebag in fair Muncie. He was a horrid person. He openly stated that he wouldn’t hire black people, because he didn’t want to risk attracting more black customers. Serious jackass. When he dies, he’ll be kicked in the nuts for eternity by a professional nut-kicker. Anyway, I’d had enough of this person one night and decided to quit. I was closing up that night, all alone, and I happened to notice a certain prodigious pressure building in my bowels. So I went to the bathroom which was right next to his office and dropped a mighty load. I knew that it was fate. I couldn’t waste this poop. So I affixed a note to the back of the toilet that he could read when he opened the next morning. The note had an arrow pointing down and a message that said “My Notice”. In retrospect, I should have crapped on his desk, but you always think of those things after the fact.
Erin_Livingston : RE: Work & money: Why do we chicken out when we leave our jobs? More..
A few years back I worked in the Sales Support Division of Apple, as in I played whipping boy for why your 10 year old kid didn’t get the iPod he didn’t really deserve in time for Christmas morning because you, dear parent, waited too long to place your order. You know, that type of thing. A few weeks after Christmas I very calmly untacked all the memos from my cube, packed them into my instructional manual, unceremoniously dropped them into the recycling bin while smiling at and crossing paths with my supervisor. I waved a, “Call me,” to my best friend in the office, then promptly took a two week road trip to the Grand Canyon complete with hitch-hikers to El Paso and skinny dipping in Balmorhea.
It seems we poets go out in style at Apple. For your viewing pleasure, please enjoy the story of my comrade Big Poppa E:
Heres one example of why I think people DO chicken out. Unfortunately this one happened to me. Having worked for a popular local uesd car franchise having an unblemished record, I was one week from the birth of one of my children. I worked a 10 hour day on the last day of the month to then be told I was being “LAID OFF” which we all know is the polite way to be fired. When I was escorted out my then supervisor attempted to shake my hand which I dubiously told him he better retract for fear of him needing to pull it out of his *ss later. Years later then working for a competitor, we were told we were being bought out…….by Guess who?! Needless to say I declined the offer to interview having left on a sour note. You never know WHO will be working WHERE!!
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