This is a comment from a friend on Facebook:

I read the blog…and I have to say that I agree!!! I am 33. I have been married for 3 years. But have spent the last 3 here in Indy….readjusting to the single life. I have to admit, at first, I was in pain…..b/c I was greiving the loss of my “family”. And I actually intentionally tried to stay away from my married friends and social … Read Moresitualtions where I would be the only single. It was too painful b/c of the recent divorce and sensing judgment or pity. But,after almost 3 years of being truely single in my 30’s …..I find that it will be hard to me to give up this status if I do meet someone special. I have found comfort, security, and identity in being on my own…and not in a stressful or unhealthy relationship. I have met enough guys, to realize more what I am looking for…and I think that if you have high standards it can cause one to be single longer.

I remember feeling that pressure to find someone and join the rest of my friends to marry, when I was in my 20’s. I also, wanted that relationship so much. Now, for the first time in my life…I can truely say that it is better to be alone, than in a relationship that isn’t right or bring out the best in you. I think I have learned things about … Read Moremyself in my 30’s that I could never have in my 20’s. Now, I feel more ready to meet someone, but can honestly say that if I don’t it won’t be the end of the world….like I previously have felt. I guess experiencing the suffering of a failed marriage, gives more motivation to wanting to be ok single and not attach to anyone unless you know it is right. I enjoyed reading your blog…and it is refreshing. Sometimes the christian community can cause pain unintentionally by those comments…like pray for a man….I heard a lot of those comments after my divorce.

I feel blessed to have experienced true joy in singleness. Because I think I will hold on a little more to my individuality and not as easily “lose myself” in a serious relationship…if I get in one. I think I can be happier in a relationship now that I have had time to realize that I can be good by myself. You keep on enjoying your singleness … Read Moreand holding your head high! Because when and if you do meet that special person…you will have so much to offer and will have much more opportunity for success in relationship since you know who you are and what you want. That is my humble opinion. Thanks for sharing.

Interesting thoughts. As a woman well over 30 I am constantly questioned about not being married or having children. In fact some people play down my life as if I don’t have worries or issues because I don’t have a husband or kids to shuttle here and there. I recently received affirmation from someone who told me that my being single is a blessing from God and I should cherish it as such. That was wonderful to hear and really helped me when people have “joked” about my being single. I will not settle and I will not let people minimize my life because I have made the decision to wait for my life partner. It’s my life. Mine.

Kela Price from my Facebook page said:

I wrote an article for Afrikan Goddess and Charly Magazine on being over 30 and still single. Although I have been blissfully married for 5 years and with my husband for 8, I think I came up with an interesting theory. Whether you’re looking to get married or not and you’re over age 30, I’d be interested in seeing how you feel about what I wrote. Check out this link: http://www.afrikangoddess.com/ha...

I have a question for all the single ladies…what exactly do you mean when you say that you won’t settle? In my opinion, it’s not about settling at all. It’s about changing those unrealistic and/or superficial expectations; meaning, switching that focus from he has to be 6’3 with … Read Morewashboard abs, a Benz and a 7 figure salary to he must treat me like a queen, be a God-fearing man and be ambitious. What I found when researching in order to write my article on women who are over 30 and still single is that often times they focus on those superficial characteristics and the others are just secondary. I also discovered that many seemingly hide behind this independent woman, super feminist label and I’m not saying that you’re not; however, I’ve been with my husband for 8 years and I am no less independent than you are.

I am totally playing devil’s advocate here, but isn’t okay to say that YES, I would like to be married?

Keysha Alexander from my Facebook page said:

I read and absolutely love this blog. I am 30 and single…and most importantly as you pointed out.. BY CHOICE. I need no pity or sorrow simply because I’m taking the time to find who I really am, what I’m all about and what I REALLY want. I think the pity parties, prayers and concern should be directed toward those who NEED a relationship to the … Read Morepoint that they lose themselves. Or those who stay in a failing marriage for all the wrong reasons. Keianna kudos to you for this blog…keep em comin!!!

Marjory Thornton from my Facebook page said:

GREAT GREAT Blog Keianna! I think that so many people get so caught in the ideal or fantasy of being married that they jump in head first. I want to be married dont’ get me wrong, but I want a friend, mental and emotional supported and providr for my family, Not a Roommate!!!! I’m patient and have no problem with waiting for that blessing and by no… Read More means am I in a hurry. I enjoy my freedom and the opportunity to weed out the “nothings” to find my “everything”…Its a little harder when you have children being single cause your scared shitless that you may run across someone who finds more interest in your babies than you, lol !!!! So being patient, taking your time, paying attention and believing God has a plan for us is all we need !!!!! To all my Single Ladies!!!!!!!

Ryan Neff from my Facebook page said:

Well, it depends. Most of the girls I know that are over thirty and single have either been divorced or engaged before. Those that haven’t have kids so they see no reason to be married now anyway since they have what they want already. Those that don’t fit any of those categories are just picky. I wouldn’t say that they have issues, but rather are looking for that Knight in Shining Armor that doesn’t exist. If you call that an “issue” then so be it. But I don’t know any single girl over 30 that has a “legitimate” issue.

Uh huh…thanks Ryan. I’d fit that category.

My “issue” is that most men can’t deal with my level of independence. Pop culture personifies an “independent” woman, but then criticizes her behind closed doors. Makes me wonder whose really the one with the issue here.

So what if “she got her own house, got her own car, 2 jobs, work hard…” Why is that the exception and not the rule? Men are taught to do these things naturally, but when a woman does them, someone feels compelled to congratulate her. WTH?

On top of that, if a brotha gets an independent woman, more often than not he feels insecure. WHAT. THEEE. HELL? Then I got issues. Lawd Jeezus. Someone just kill me, please.