This is another one of those blogs I’m gonna catch hell about, but since I have my own personal “hell-proof” insurance policy after the “Psychic Fair” blog, I’m going to take the risk…

Today’s topic – dating. (Bah, bah, bah, buuuuummm!)

So I’m out for cocktails with the girlies (who are all single and 30-ish, btw) and the dating subject comes up — again. Topics like “the lack of ‘eligible’ guys,” “Mr. Right versus Mr. Right Now,” and how to have the dreaded, “‘where are we?’ conversation” abound. But it’s cool, though, cuz it’s not man-bashing, it’s more like men-wondering… it’s the WTF convo – relationship edition. LOL!

Now this crowd of chicas is of the mixed variety, some Black, some White, one bi-racial, one who prefers to not be classified… And we started comparing dating pools. I personally made (and standby) the fact that my dating pool, as a single African-American female is drastically different than that of ALL of my friends.

I’m over 30 (a lil), divorced, with a master’s degree, a small business and no children. The men that I “should” be dating are typically married, engaged, gay, or otherwise unavailable (and I’ll leave THAT one alone – LOL). The majority of men left in my overall dating pool are not as “equally yoked” (thanks Staten), and that often causes problems in the relationship down the line, i.e. money, power imbalance, sexual issues, etc.

But my friend, whose almost 30, White, master’s degree, never been married, no children, consistently has significantly different experiences. Her dating pool counterparts are almost ALWAYS “equally yoked;” thereby leaving her with a better chance of finding Mr. Right-AND-Compatible. This means a greater chance of relationship options and success.

The other girlies don’t seem to have as much to add to the dating pool dilemma…One friend doesn’t date outside her race, and being “what she is – LOL” the custom is arranged marriage, or a 2009-version of it. Nuff said.

My bi-racial friend primarily dates Asian men, so she doesn’t share this limited dating pool experience, either.

See? WTF?

Herein lies the problem… How can a girl find the “perfect,” or some assimilation of things that feel perfect, date in an imperfect dating pool? Where are all the good guys, age 30 and over?

After the last lavendar cosmo and several forkfuls of sinful potatoes gorgonzola, (thanks Palomino, downtown) we stumbled walked eloquently out of the restaurant with an agreement to attend new outings (watch out Indy Hub) and be on the lookout for men who’d match our specs… Four heads are definitely better than one, right?

What are your thoughts on this dating dilemma?