I have recently fallen victim to the huge-ass-purse trend that started sweeping the nation a little over a year ago. When I bought said purse, I thought (out loud) “What the crap am I going to put in here?" After using it for about a month now, I have discovered that I am disgusting. I collect shit. Not useful shit. Just shit. I don’t even remember putting any of this stuff in there. I have decided that people at Qdoba, Walgreens, and even co-workers at the office have collaborated in some bizarre effort to stuff my gigantic sac full of gum (out of the wrapper), receipts, straws (with the paper torn off a lil’ bit), pens with no caps that are somehow busted now, 1 andes mint (chocolate melted through the wrapper), a spork (still in the wrapper, YES!), and a partridge in a pear tree. Who am I? Fucking Mary Poppins? After dumping it out on my bedroom floor I realized I should’ve laid down a newspaper first because of a strange residue that oozed out of it. I then discovered that my hand sanitizer bottle had apparently had enough of being surrounded by such filth and had taken itself out suicide bomber style.

A moment of silence for the sanitizer.
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OK back to what I was saying and I promise there’s a point. The point is…I LIKE MY DAMN PURSE. I think it’s cute. NO, there is NOTHING of importance in it but you know what? It’s shiny, and it’s big and should I ever need to eat on the go or create a finger painting at a moment’s notice, I know that I have a spork and a puddle of ink ready and willing to perform all in the palm of my hand.

Here are some links to some huge ass sacs:
1. http://www.neimanmarcus.com/store/catalog/prod.jhtml?itemId=prod77100015&parentId=cat19460733&masterId=cat13030735&index=21&cmCat=cat000000cat000141cat13030735cat19460733
2.
http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524446204618&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=282574492712907&ASSORTMENT%3C%3East_id=1408474399545537&bmUID=1230239644715&ev19=1:17
3.
http://www.dooney.com/OA_HTML/ibeCCtpSctDspRte.jsp?section=41272

Love,

Kay Jay